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Losing Hope..


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Have you ever wish that life is just like a computer, we can reset it if we encounter problems or shut it down and unplug once we get tired....


Early this year, I lost the person that I thought I am going to spend the rest of my life with.. The only person I want to grow old with.. I had to welcome year 2011 with pain and tears in my eyes. New year should mean a new beginning.. but it felt like it was the ending... and what hurts the most is that you already know that you lost the battle though you haven't started fighting yet..


I didn't know how it happened, but I survived. I was able to picked up the pieces and act normal in front of the people surrounding me.. Though deep inside me, im dying... and I know that there's still a missing piece that I am not sure where to find..


Then, I get tired of pretending.. I felt the need of something new so that I can start a fresh new beginning.. A new place, new work, new friends... This is all I need to moved on.... So I decided to move in a new country..


But it seems that life's really unkind to me... Work couldn't be found when I believe that I can do it. He's not giving me a chance to start a new life.. Now I am stucked and don't know where to go..


I really don't know now what to do... How I wish that I my life is just like a computer...

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You "lost" the person? As in, he passed away or broke up with you? Either way, I'm sorry.


Thank you Smile12.. He broke up with me.. But it feels like he already passed away... because I know I will never have chance to see him again.. Aside from the fact that he's million miles away from here, he's planning to get married by next year...

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I feel you lykarose.


I wish life had a reset button too.


Sorry to hear you are going through hard times. I really hope things get better for you.



Thanks Jonty... I really hope so.. Sadly, there's no reset or on/off buttons... even eject and rewind buttons.. because there's no other way life offers.. only forward... I wish I will find the right way before this year ends... because as of now, I am totally lost..

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It would be nice to press the re-start button on life but if we did that we wouldn't be who we are. If that were the case we wouldn't have the coping skills to deal with what we deal with. Past experiences(both good and bad) shape who were are. Although I would never want to relive some of the experiences I've had I can appreciate them because they have made me who I am.

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