Can you still be friends with a guy who wants to remain as friends?

[iamminzy]

I made a huge mistake by going to a guy's house I barely know and we made out the 2nd time I visited, but the truth is I liked it. He just made everything all awkward and said "are we more than just friends?" And he said he would take me out for dinner but changed his mind. We were always sending some sort of signal to each other like we like each other or something, but he says he just wants to be friends, but I get these weird signals that he likes me. I told him I don't know if he likes me or just wants to have sex. I told him I am not ready for that and he respects that since we're not bf/gf yet. We stop making out because we found out that we were making things more complicated and so we will just remain as friends.

 

he be telling me about his goals in the future and what he wants to do. He always share a little bit of his personal stuff with me and I do the same. He said he's not very good at relationships or commitment. I'm very experienced either and commitment I don't know about that either...

 

We went clubbing with another friend and he kissed a girl at the club thinking I didn't see that. He hope I didn't see that, so he kept pushing me away with his friend, so I won't see it because he didnt wanna hurt me. I know men all have the same nature and wants to hang out with multiple girls as he told me he has a wandering eye. He says sometimes he has feelings for me and the days he thought about me, but he said its not enough. I knew he wasn't that into me. Sometimes I feel the same way about him too, sometimes I like him sometimes I don't because I just don't know and I'm scared that all he wants is sex. He said I shouldn't get involved with a guy like him and i don't want to, but my heart is weak...

 

At times, I act natural and suppress my feelings and the feelings of liking him goes away.

 

He asked if we can still be friends and hang out together. But sometimes his hang out is at his place, I should suggest outdoorsie stuff that doesn't cost much money since he says he's broke.

 

He said he likes girls with inside personalities and outside looks and someone with balance like well-rounded. I guess I have outside looks, but I don't think he sees my personality as much since I am quiet and shy and don't express myself as much. He doesn't think I am well-rounded because I don't speak up and he likes girls that speak up. He isn't the only one who says that.

 

I feel that when I don't speak up it frustrates people even he said it frustrates him. My friends all says the same thing about me... So now I want to start new and fresh and express myself more.

 

I want to continue to be his friend though. I want him to see the real me and outspoken and candid person. Sometimes I can speak up, but most of the time I run away from it or hide... now i guess i need to step it up.

[midnightdeirdre]

I've tried the friends-with-benefits thing. It was fun at first; I won't lie about that. But after awhile it started feeing really empty. Finally, I ended it. And in the end, I was ashamed and sad that I did those things without being in actual relationship. (I am over it now.) But see how in the end, I ended up more alone than I was to begin with?

 

It sounds like you should either just stay friends or ask him if he truly does want a relationship with you.

[Mesemene]

It sounds like he's been giving you gentle warnings that he's not ready to commit to anyone and wouldn't make good boyfriend material.

 

If you want to stay friends, be honest with him, tell him the fooling around gives you mixed feelings as well, and you value the friendship more than the occasional hanky-panky. It sounds like you're somewhat attracted - but not like you're really sure either, so probably best to stay friends for now.

[iamminzy]

yea... hmm i' guess we're both not ready and yes it is fun to make out and stuff though we never had sex though. he tried to, but I said no and he respected that. he couldn't control himself again, but I tried to stop it him, so we just ended up kissing.