changeacomin Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 After receiving this recent email (posted below for reference) from my ex, I've had some kind of mini epiphany: "The biggest part of all this was realising that I didn't want to be bound to one place. There was also the realisation that by being a part of a long-term relationship I was missing out on something. I never had that wild and free period that you and most other people did. I think it was the belief that it could be still possible. Possibly as a result of the extra confidence generated by this new job, people, in particular women, have responded differently to me. Or maybe I'm imagining it. Maybe I'm deluding myself. This seems even to me to be a fairly childish, immature reason to offer as to why we ended, but I want to be totally honest." I've realised, I can continue to torture myself by questioning whether or not he still loves me, whether he'll change his mind, whether or not we'll ever be together again. But it's as clear as crystal from this email, that all of the questioning, the running round in circles, is pointless. It makes no difference. The bottom line is: He simply didn't love me ENOUGH. He didn't love me enough to stick around. And from there, I've reached a whole new place inside my head. WHY am I wasting all this energy, crying, fretting, worrying, etc.etc. over someone who doesn't love me ENOUGH? Someone who has dropped me after 6 years because he wants to see "what he might be missing". Why would I do that to myself? He doesn't deserve me. He doesn't deserve the depth of love I had for him. It's not HIM that's making me feel distraught. It's ME. I'm giving away my power to a man who doesn't deserve me. I'm allowing HIM him to control my emotions. Phew! I feel like I've taken back just a teensy bit of control. P:S Is this the "anger" stage? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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