Friends with Benefits?

[melohyellow]

Anyone ever done this before with a friend? Is it ever a good idea?

Especially when you have a little crush on the other person...?

[LDRohnos]

Depends. Being romantically involved with someone is different and more personal than simply being friends with them. Unless you and (s)he were VERY sure that you'd want to risk losing the friendship for a love/sex interest then I would stay away from this entirely and just remain friends. There is no going back.

[delicous]

Nothing but drama, honestly, if I can go back...I would of done things differently. I would of made sure to have him be completely done with his current girlfriend prior to EVER allowing him to sleep with me..... HOWEVER, my experience is a little diff than every other experience prob. We have been off and on a lot, righ now currently, we are doing greater than we ever did before..

 

However, I would advise against it--

 

When I was a teen, around 17, I had dry sex and I felt, instead of empowered, less so and disrepect

 

A friend of mine is in this type of relationship right now and she is so up and down, likes him, hates him, likes him, hates him...tells me things he says to her and is all giddy and happy about it and then sad and devestated about it, however she chooses not to ask him for more because she does continue to see other men constantly and messed around with others. She loves sex with this man though, so she keeps him around. Hes also a difference race then him and knows her family would dis-approve.

 

I don't like this type of relationship, don't respect it and just wish id of done things differently, hands down.

 

If you look at my thread, "Breakup Sex" you will sson learn my story and see that I am still very confused, but can't let go of him. We started out in a affaire though, and strictly sex, but then weeks later changed into a monagamous relationship which soon ended because he cheated on me with the girl he cheated on with me...hhah, but I gave him another chance....and another and another...and I have been coming back to him and he has to me and its just been a roller coaster, but I can trully say I have love for him and can't seem to give up on us.

 

To each its own: Cheers!!

[WildHorse]

In my experience, BAD IDEA!! One person usually gets more attached, causing the person who cares less to have all of the power. Person who has romantic feelings will end up feeling hurt and used if the other person never reciprocates. Since you're the one with a little crush, I'd be very careful. I wouldn't settle for anything less than commitment. Speaking from multiple experiences, unfortunately... Life is not a Justin Timberlake/Mila Kunis movie!

[tmtex]

What is dry sex ?

[Mesemene]

Especially when you have a little crush on the other person...?

 

Definitely a good reason to NOT pursue this idea. Even if you have no intention of pushing your feelings on your friend - they start eating away at you because you'll want more. And then both sides feel a bit betrayed - remember, emotions aren't logical - because the one who only feels like a friend might feel you had an ulterior motive, while you feel let down if things don't develop past FWB.

[bichin]

Outcomes...

 

You decide not to go there, you get to keep your friendship until something else happens.

You try it and like it and so does the other person, win win.

You try it and like it but the other person doesn't, awkward.

You try it and don't like it and neither does the other person, mostly win win.

You try it and don't like it but the other person does, awkward.

 

It's up to you to weigh these outcomes and count the cost of each. Sometimes a little fun can be fun, and easily as often it can become a big pain in the tush.

[SpottiOtti]

If you are dishonest about your motives, it will only end up hurting you both.

[eclipse73]

Anyone ever done this before with a friend? Is it ever a good idea?

Especially when you have a little crush on the other person...?

 

I did this for seven years with a girl i was friends with. In the end she got hurt and now we no longer talk IT SUCKS. I was never in love with her it was purely sexual for me. I guess it could work in the right situation but usually ends up like my situation

[delicous]

Tmtex:

What is dry sex ?

 

Dry sex is having sex without taking closes off...Nothing is actually inserted....

[SicFounder]

I've done this twice. The first time we stopped after a few months and were able to keep a friendship going. The second we stopped talking completely and still haven't heard from one another.

 

And, honestly, I'm thinking about doing this with another friend. Just not sure if it's worth the risk of our friendship.

 

So, if oyou wanna stay friends regardless, don't do it.

[jaysmaury]

Tmtex:

 

Dry sex is having sex without taking closes off...Nothing is actually inserted....

 

Bit of a misnomer, isn't it?

[delicous]

misnomer? Not sure what that is...lol..if you mean, UNCOMFORTABLE...yea..kinda but I had my undies on and he has his boxers on, so it wasn't just like pants on pants...there was some...pleasure....

 

I still have dry sex leading up to reg sex, sometimes...

[Day_Walker]

I would say this, if you have more than just a physical attraction (aka you want to be in a relationship with that person) then dont do fwb. It isnt very effective to use fwb to build a bridge to a relationship.

[delicous]

Daywalker--- I agree 100%

[Alezia]

I don't personally believe in Friends with Benefits. Either you have real friends for which have great personalities but you are not attracted, or you have someone you date with chemistry/crush. I can see one night stand scenarios occur, were you don't develop any kind of relationship or seeing the person again, but that would really be the only way for me if it was to happen.