octour Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 I'm at the point of still going thru my breakup even though she is seeing and sleeping with somebody already. We were together for 3.5 years and she met him before she broke up with me. She was hanging out with him 2 weeks before she ended it with me and 'with' him 1 month out of our relationship. It hurts like hell. My breakup was the result of outside circumstances and my inability to overcome then. Basically overworked and grossly underpaid. This led to neglect in our relationship despite trying to do everything she and I could. She hit the wall and met someone. So she said 'screw this' and went with her gut. They have been together ever since. Shortly thereafter, I let her know that she lied and for how long in front of this guy and her father. I gave her what she deserved, minus the name calling. I should not have done that and I regret it. But I do understand that she had the mindset of 'how much more can i do, it's going to be this way forever.' I can't say I blame her, but I can blame her for how she handled the breakup. She should have been stronger and stood on her own two feet. She didn't do it because we were incompatible, she did it because she felt it was always going to be the same. And the same wasn't good, and the changes I promised never came. But she wasn't 100% gone until she got to that comfortable point with the new guy, very weak of her. I finally reached that point where I can get myself out of this mess and start rebuilding me. That is what we both wanted. But she was done waiting. Hurts like hell again. But this is a major step in getting back ME and my healing process. I still really love this girl but know that I cannot even think about us getting back until I am healed and my stress is zero and my career is great but doesn't control my life. That is steps 2,3,and 4. I can see us patching things up, slowly. But how do I know if she will ever have that feeling again? I know this is a moment of weakness, but how can you tell if you should throw in the towel and walk away without ever looking back? Or, is that the mindset that yields the most options? The option of trying to reconcile because she notices the changes in you (please keep in mind, these are for me and not for her) or meeting someone else and forgetting all about reconciliation? There has to be a point when one of you says 'absolutely not, never again'. How can you tell if either one of you has reached that point? Link to comment
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