What Turns Women On?

[jaysmaury]

Ladies,

 

Do tell... what are you most attracted to in a man? Be blunt and honest - it will help us all. Romance, looks, adventure, money, ambition, respect? What is it? Is there some common consensus that women can agree on as being most important? I would imagine money, looks, and respect probably rank among the highest? Thank you in advance for any responses. I think it will be interesting to pick your brains a little bit on this subject...

[SicFounder]

I think it varies per woman, but I'd like to see some of their answers. It's always nice to see one side of the female thinking system.

[Betweenthebars]

Ambition, a sense of responsibility, well groomed, sensuality, sexiness - and sexiness isn't just looks. It's his confidence, the way he carries himself.

[Capricorn3]

Here's a link to more or less the same question asked just a few days ago:

 

 

[WildHorse]

I want to have kids in the near future, so I always look to see how a man interacts with small children. Is he patient, is he a good role model, is he committed, etc. Pretty much everything I look for in a guy relates to how he will be as a husband/father one day. If he doesn't measure up, I'm not interested, because that is very important to me.

[OptomisticGirl]

Turns me on in the animal sense of lets just shag? Facial and chest hair.

 

Turns me on in the sense of I see them as a good partner? Respect for themselves, integrity, intelligence, makes me laugh...

[Sim54]

Isn't it funny how the OP mentioned money?

Yet the word integrity features already more often.

Just guessing, as a man, i would have said integrity.

I fear the OP wants to try to change himself to be more attractive.

But that is already a bit of a 'fail' as it shows he wants validation from women.

Go out there and discover who you are.

When you are doing that which you love, then love will find you, without looking.

[jaysmaury]

Isn't it funny how the OP mentioned money?

Yet the word integrity features already more often.

Just guessing, as a man, i would have said integrity.

I fear the OP wants to try to change himself to be more attractive.

But that is already a bit of a 'fail' as it shows he wants validation from women.

Go out there and discover who you are.

When you are doing that which you love, then love will find you, without looking.

 

You're over-analyzing, pal. I'm young, fairly attractive, and in a pretty good job for my age. Won't be changing myself to be more attractive to women anytime soon - not desperate enough yet. Simply trying to have a little fun and start an interesting conversation. Read some of my other posts and you'll see the last thing I care about is validation from women (or anyone for that matter). I'm focused on my own success and realize that I am very selfish at this stage of my life - and I'm cool with that. And as far as looking for love...? I'm looking to avoid love. Just looking for fun for the next few years.

 

Cheers

[Sim54]

ok, no problem. I just took your post at face value. I also thought you mentioning money first as sign of a pretty cynical mentality.

Not all women are gold diggers. In fact many are not.

I wonder where you are? America? Then that would make more sense. I get the feeling that American women can be very material.

Well, based on what get's filtered over to Europe anyway.

But I could be wrong.

[jaysmaury]

ok, no problem. I just took your post at face value. I also thought you mentioning money first as sign of a pretty cynical mentality.

Not all women are gold diggers. In fact many are not.

I wonder where you are? America? Then that would make more sense. I get the feeling that American women can be very material.

Well, based on what get's filtered over to Europe anyway.

But I could be wrong.

 

Women want a guy with money - not necessarily for his money. Ambition, confidence, being a good provider... all of those things involve the pursuit of success and most of the time that means money. Oftentimes, when a guy has no money it also means he has little ambition, drive, sense of urgency, or even confidence.

 

And I am referring to a guys voluntary or passive attitude toward money and success - I realize most people right now are out of work due to no fault of their own and certainly not due to a lack of motivation.

[Sim54]

In a way, it would be better to say, 'has access to resources' rather than, 'has money'. I think that comes over better.

[thejigsup]

The things I LOVE in a man (In no particular order): Intelligence (and I mean Mensa level!) brains turn me on more than anythng! Money (I'll admit it, poor guys need not apply) you don't need to be rich, I support myself, but I AIN'T SUPPORTING YOU!!!, Tall (at least 6'), I'm tall so I naturally want to look up into my man's eyes, ambition (I'm very ambitious so I don't get along very well with guys who aren't aiming for the stars). A good dresser (I love a man who knows an Armani suit when he sees one and actually owns one or two). Oh, and I hate smoking and drinking, those are major turn-offs for me! These are just One woman's likes. BUT, all of us women are different, so don't go by me.

[bichin]

Same things as men:

 

Chantilly lace

A pretty face

Lots of hair

Hanging down

A giggle in his talk

And a wiggle in his walk

 

(makes the world go round)

[Generation]

The things I LOVE in a man (In no particular order): Intelligence (and I mean Mensa level!) brains turn me on more than anythng! Money (I'll admit it, poor guys need not apply) you don't need to be rich, I support myself, but I AIN'T SUPPORTING YOU!!!, Tall (at least 6'), I'm tall so I naturally want to look up into my man's eyes, ambition (I'm very ambitious so I don't get along very well with guys who aren't aiming for the stars). A good dresser (I love a man who knows an Armani suit when he sees one and actually owns one or two). Oh, and I hate smoking and drinking, those are major turn-offs for me! These are just One woman's likes. BUT, all of us women are different, so don't go by me.

 

I have a question pertaining to the 'Mensa level intelligence' (though I'm sure you don't mean that entirely literally like they must have an IQ of ~155...or maybe you do). Though I'm genuinely curious about this.

 

Would you say that your admiration for 'brains' of that level was acquired with age? Just curious because I would imagine that as a person grows, their knowledge bank would be fairly vast when it comes to a variety of subjects, so I'm wondering if it's naturally proportionate with growth. But say if a person just hasn't aged enough yet to get a full grasp of the world (not to say that he's an idiot either, like he's on his way to completing a Masters, but he's just less informed or naive on some things), would his intelligence be sufficient? In other words, is that kind of intelligence correlated with age?

Would this have looked any different for you X amount of years ago?

[Sambuca]

I like smart men, and always have done, even as a teenager. I think it's because I've always been pretty smart, so I wanted someone I could relate to. I tend to end up with men who are smart but less so than myself - a 155+ IQ in a decent looking head is pretty hard to find...

[WhenWillILove]

Career

Money

Personality

Romanticism

Looks

 

And no, not in that order.

[Maeby]

Looks. Strong-featured guys with glasses and great hair, enough to run my fingers through but still well-kept. I'm a really visual person. Good-looking dudes will just always score higher with me than ones who aren't anything to write home about - but then again, I have a very specific "type," and a lot of men who my friends swoon over couldn't be less interesting to me.

 

A great sense of humor is a big point with me, in the sense that I often get little crushes on improvisors or comedians I meet. And that sense of humor nearly always masks deeper insecurities, which I like.

 

Money isn't a big deal for me. I certainly wouldn't go for an old troll just because he had stacks of money. I mean, I'm generally pretty broke myself (but it's my own fault, I majored in film) and I tend to like smart, artistic guys who, like me, pretty much live paycheck-to-paycheck. Intelligence, though - that's a big one. I don't mind if a guy is smarter than me in some ways. I like an intellectual struggle.

 

But yeah, primarily looks these days. And if a good-looking man is wearing a button-down dress/office shirt and has the sleeves rolled up, ala Redford in All the President's Men? Boom. That's it. I'm done.

[halved]

Sense of Humor

Playfulness

Tolerates my silliness

Ambition

Leadership qualities

Charisma

Not a doormat

forgiving

understanding

trustworthy

A man of action

Always has ideas and plans

Problem solver

Not passive

 

As for looks:

dark hair

facial hair (stubble is great!)

Not overweight, but not a gym rat

taller than me (makes me feel feminine)

[birdname]

When I look for a potential partner first they must be attractive, which to me means tall and skinny.

Secondly, they must be outgoing, and active.

I also value independence. Living by yourself if a huge plus, having roommates is a strike against, but not a deal-breaker, and living with your parents is a huge turn off.

[SpottiOtti]

OP, if I say the most important thing to me is that the guy has a good heart/soul, will you believe me?

 

I don't need anyone to be a "provider" for me. I've been doing this life thing on my own for 10 years now, thank you very much, and I have never had any man that I've dated pay even one of my bills. Most of my girlfriends are the same. Not sure where you're meeting your women. Come to Texas, we're all independent here.

 

Anyway, back to your original question. Good heart, not bitter or suspicious, knows how to give and receive space, time, and affection, won't step out on me, can share his thoughts and feelings and can listen to and respect mine. Can pay his share and no more.

 

Looks: I've always been a sucker for a shaved head, a goatee, and a wallet chain. I like the metalheads, yes I do.