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heartbroken =[

kaliixox

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kaliixox Newbie

kaliixox

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hey everyone.

so, i was in a relationship with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years. we were always so happy, and so in love. plenty of chemistry, intimacy and fun. we were best friends. last saturday, out of nowhere, he texted me saying he has too much going on in his life right now to handle a relationship and if we continue to move along he will eventually end up snapping at me and basically hating me forever. he said its not that i am doing anything wrong, just having someone around all the time is adding to his stress. i was so confused and tried calling him but he wouldnt answer, so i texted him back asking like, what the hell was he talking about!! he just kept saying he didnt see a future for us and didn't want to keep trying at the relationship. i literally have never been more shocked and confused in my life. i thought everything was fine, just the previous day he was calling me "babe" and "his love" hugging and kissing me, etc. anyway, i just let it be hoping that he was just having a rough day. didn't talk to me all day or the next day. i ended up seeing him two days later and we spoke in person. he told me he never said that he didnt see a future with me? meanwhile, he texted me saying the exact words "i don't see a future for us." still insisted he never said that and that he does see a future with me he just doesn't want to be in a relationship at this time. he said he sees a definite possibility of us getting back together one day but doesnt want it to be set in stone. i didnt want to start an argument so i didnt talk much, just let it be. but seriously, does he expect me to just wait around forever wondering when this "one day" that hell want to be with me again will come?? anyway, we spoke for about a half an hour then he gave me a hug and kiss and said goodnight. the next day i saw him again, spoke for about 15 minutes, then he told me to leave but gave me a hug and kiss again and said he loved me. at this point i was even more confused because he was acting like we were still together, but then wouldn't let me stay for more than a few minutes. same thing happened two days later. now i'm getting annoyed. the day after that, i texted him trying to talk. no answer. called him, no answer. so i texted him saying "listen, i dont know what the hell i did, but if you need a few days alone why dont you just say so?" so he texted back saying "few days would be nice." not a word since, and its been 3 days. all my friends/family keep telling me to move on, get over it, he doesnt deserve me, i will find someone else, etc. i don't even know what to do anymore. i want to be with him more than anything, and i know if he ever does want me back ill probably run right to him. but has anyone had a situation like this? because seriously i dont even know whats going on and i dont know what to do anymore. i tried texting him today because i couldnt take the silence, but no answer. =[

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nocontactqueen Enthusiast

nocontactqueen

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I was in a similar situation several years ago. Eventually I got tired of him throwing me around and told him to contact me when he makes up his mind. In this case, he was cheating on me. We eventually did back together, but we are no longer together.

 

It does not mean in your case that he is cheating, but it's true that you need to let him get his act together and stop contacting him. I know it's so much easier said than done. I'm even going through a similar situation now with someone new, I'm dying to contact him but I know I wasn't treated fairly and I need to just move on.

 

I'm sorry I don't have a better answer to give you, but that's what this site is for, so we can be honest with each other and lean on each other for support when the truth hurts. I can't predict the future for you and him, but I can tell you that it's only going to drive you even more insane if you let him keep doing this to you. You need to throw him for a loop and tell him you don't want to talk to him again until he figures out what's going on. And even then you're not waiting around for him because it isn't fair to you.

 

Stand firm to him. But it's ok to break down behind the scenes. We're all here if you need support, because we all do.

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LittleSyren Newbie

LittleSyren

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Hello dear, same thing happened to me not too long ago. He said the same thing. Truth was, he didn't want to hurt my feelings; he had lost interest in me, that's all. And yeah "baby" "babe" "boo" and all that just before it happened.

 

Advice:

STOP TEXTING HIM. Right now; I mean it! I know it's hard, but suck it up :star:

Stop thinking about your lousy ex. (Hard, REALLY hard). But find a hobby, a fling, go out and have fun! Keep your mind off of him.

 

Most importantly: realize it will take a while to heal. I, myself, have woken up months after a break up and said "Dang, I can't believe I miss that jerk!"

Give yourself as much healing time as possible and please be nice to yourself. This was all him, not you.

 

Best wishes!

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kaliixox Newbie

kaliixox

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im trying not to contact him.. ive been doing better. as for seeing him, i will probably never see him again unless we end up talking again and plan on seeing eachother. hes moving a few towns over from me in 3 days so we won't be going to the same places really. even if we dont get back together, i really do want to be friends though. hes my best friend. i trust him more than anyone in the world. i doubt very much that he cheated on me or even that he has found someone else..

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blueidealist24 Collaborator

blueidealist24

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im trying not to contact him.. ive been doing better. as for seeing him, i will probably never see him again unless we end up talking again and plan on seeing eachother. hes moving a few towns over from me in 3 days so we won't be going to the same places really. even if we dont get back together, i really do want to be friends though. hes my best friend. i trust him more than anyone in the world. i doubt very much that he cheated on me or even that he has found someone else..

 

...maybe the moving a few towns away had something to do with this? he might have thought it would be too hard to keep up the relationship with you guys living in different towns?

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kaliixox Newbie

kaliixox

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i doubt it.. it only takes about ten minutes to get there on the parkway. he texted me today angry that a guy ive been friends with for years "liked" two of my facebook statuses. i actually laughed at the text. is he serious? didn't know "liking" a status meant u were hooking up with someone. he was acting like im the one who broke his heart and i did something wrong. so ridiculous. now im just annoyed.

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AvonRepus Apprentice

AvonRepus

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Oh he reels you out and then he will cut the string...

So familiar.

He wants you to be around while he's putting his s**t together.

Boy,not a man.

Don't text him. Don't talk to him. Block his facebook,his twitter,everything,trust me -if he wants to be with you,he will find a way of contacting you,don't get your hopes up and just try to move on. I think you need to understand-he broke up with you,the kisses and the hugs show a person who is feeling guilty but again if he wants to be with you-he will be WITH you,he won't ask for a break and bla bla rough times...Do you see yourself in the future with a person like this?Who can't be honest about the way they are feeling ,who can't man up and try to resolve their issues or the conflicts you are having.

Most people try to avoid conflicts as much as possible and at some point they leave their partners just hanging,confused,not having an idea what's going on just because the dumpers didn't have the guts to put the cards on the table.

Chin up.I hope everything goes well with you.

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