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Continuous suicidal thoughts


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Even if the ones I'm having now subside they'll only resurface again. I'm sure one day I will go ahead with it. There are only so many times you can want to do it and then back out. After a good cry things seem better but why do I have to cry all the time. I cry to the point of wanting to throw up and sometimes I do. I'm only 20 what sort of life is this. I've been going through a lot of pain over the past 3/4 years.

The only thing I can think of is starting my ambition to become a singer. I think that's the only thing that could make my life better if it was too pull through. Other than that I've always wanted to be a psychiatrist or a therapist or whatever but I'm not studying the right things for that unfortunately.

I need to pick myself up somehow because no1 is going to do it for me. No-one is here for me which is why I come onto sites like this. I'm going to make an attempt at it. If it fails then believe me when I say I will definitely have hit rock bottom.

I so want a future with children and a husband and sometimes I feel like everything I'm going through now will ruin things if I don't make it to that age. All my friends have started their families already. I wish I wish I wish I could be in the arms of the man who cared about me. I wish I wish I wish I was strong enough to take my life and control everything

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You've got a start!

Singing (have you made any steps towards taking this further than just a hobby)

Therapist/psychiatrist, you can complete your current subjects and then change.

I'm only a year older than you, when I was 19 I lost my dog, I tried to kill myself, I had two options, ruin my life, or aim to achieve my goals. At the time I was doing hairdressing, now I am in university. (I'm in the uk also btw)


You know what you want, why let it out of your reach with depression, use whatever brings you down, to make you stronger..


Message me if you want any advice or anything, not sure if my PM system is working currently, I'll have to find out the hard way..



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  • 2 weeks later...


You have a goal to achieve, for which you should stop compairing yourself to others at this moment... as it will pull you down.

Life is full of different phases, which are different for each individual. Good or bad, as one sees it.

I would suggest that you make a good choice, by not attempting the above said.Its not worth it....

You can get out of this phase of your life, trust me on this...

First take one step at a time, think about things which make you feel comfortable and confident...

I can tell you this, FUTURE CAN BE GREAT ...

If you need anybody to talk to, message me ... trust me you will come out ....



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