benkuske Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 got myself in a little bit of a pickle. I feel like it's not a big deal and I'm about as far from a player as you can get, but people don't know that. There's a larger group of girl friends from my church 10-12ish. They're all friends, but not all "besties" or whatever. But their paths cross, they get together, and being girls they all talk. We are all in mid 20's. There's sort of 2 "sub-groups" of closer girlfriends out of that larger group. A few weeks ago one of these girls noticed I seemed interested in one of her friends, and I was, so when asked I said "yeah I'd be curious to get to know her better" and tried to arrange some different group hang outs (dinner/game nights/etc.) and have seen her around a little but still want to hang out more and get to know her better. But it became known to her and her friends that I was interested and intentional about it. Well, I've also been interested in another girl in that larger group (but not close friends with the girl mentioned above... different "sub-group" or whatever) and have been trying to hang out with her more (game nights/group dinner/etc.) - just casual stuff, but I've also been intentional about that... Anyway, each girl and their friends know that I'm interested just because I've made it either somewhat clear in my actions, or someone saying something (even though I've haven't gone around talking about it much, it's seemed to have spread because girls talk talk talk). Just the other day I learned that it has very recently almost certainly become common knowledge to the entire larger girl group and to each girl (girl A knows I've been interested in girl B, and vice versa; as well as known to all the girlfriends in that larger group who know I have been trying hang-out and stuff with each). Personally I don't feel like this is a big deal because I'm not dating either of them and it's just casual hanging out, but I know girls - especially when they are all sort of friends, even if not besties (they've all got this little social circle from church and they're sort of a "girl-herd"), and the dating atmosphere is just different than other settings it seems. Will this be upsetting to either girl, or to the group? Could they look down on this, or speak negatively of it? Would either girl feel offended or become upset/disinterested? Any thoughts on how to handle this situation, or if this sort of hurt chances with either girl a lot? Since I'm newer to this particular group I didn't realize the dynamic, and while I didn't really spread the word much at all, it seems people gossip/talk a lot about this sort of thing... did I possibly just burn two bridges here? Will the girl group of friends interpret this as "girl crazy" or some negative connotation as if I'm going after "all" the girls in the group? I'm definitely not, but I fear that's the (unfair) perception it might create, since they don't all know me super well, and they're all friends. Link to comment
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