Is jealousy and/or posesssiveness a normal thing to have in relationship/courtin

[Reflective]

Obviously not violently jealous or possessive.. but if someone obviously subtly displays that they are jealous if guys give you attention and if they don't want you to be with anyone else (again not commanding you this.. just saying it) is that healthy? Should I be alarmed?

Should I be alarmed if they always tell me to come home when its none of their business what I am doing?

Should I be alarmed if they accuse the most random people of wanting to have sex with me just because they asked to borrow something from me?

Should I be alarmed if we are not exclusive yet and they act as if we are? Telling me they dont like that guys talk to me they want me to be careful of where I am especially when alone and that I should be careful around other guys..?

 

Should I be worried? I am going to be honest with you. I DONT understand this emotion at all. I understand being jealous and possessive of material things. But over people? I dont get it.. and I have never displayed this. So I am quite alarmed when people are this way with me or if I witness this.. is it normal? Are these people just insecure?

[CMS]

First of all thanks for not labelling the thread "Why do men...."

 

Are you referring to your FWB guy from your other thread? if yes, then the guy wants more than what you have currently, you either cut him loose if FWB is all you wanted or you start going out with him

[Reflective]

First of all thanks for not labelling the thread "Why do men...."

 

Are you referring to your FWB guy from your other thread? if yes, then the guy wants more than what you have currently, you either cut him loose if FWB is all you wanted or you start going out with him

It's about him and other guys that I attempted to date and guys that show interest in me.

I'm wondering if jealousy and possessiveness is normal...

 

 

Like.. no matter how much I read on this stuff.. it fails to register.

And no I don't have some spectrum disorder like aspergers.

I guess I'm the rare breed that innately understand that people are not ours to keep or posses. Guess im just secure with myself in that respect.

 

I don't get it. I really don't. I don't know where it comes from.

you talk to someone you like. there's chemistry etc. than all of a sudden there is this need to tell the person that you don't like it when someone of the opposite sex likes you or talks to you? or you tell them that you want them and noisy else can have them? Or stuff like that.. ugh where does this come from?

How does anyone have any right to tell someone who to speak to? I don't get jealous. Or possessive. over people.

I get possessive over material things.

 

 

So can anyone explain it? Is it insecurity? And if so why? if the person clearly chose you..

[Reflective]

I also don't get how sex can change everything? Especially if it was a mutual thing that two people wouldn't get attached?

How does someone mysteriously develop feelings... THROUGH SEX? I thought people usually develop feelings through emotional intimacy over a period of time? You know kind of like how friendships start.

[CMS]

I also don't get how sex can change everything? Especially if it was a mutual thing that two people wouldn't get attached?

How does someone mysteriously develop feelings... THROUGH SEX? I thought people usually develop feelings through emotional intimacy over a period of time? You know kind of like how friendships start.

 

welcome to the real world, where emotion is anything but logical.

[xyzzzz]

it depends on how they act on it. if they tell you to come home in demand instead of a caring kind of way,maybe you should be alarmed. if they not only tell you they dont like guys talking to you,but also do things to restrict you,yeah you should be alarmed.

if they only say this..its not that big of a problem.unless they are too passive-aggressive

but generally,subtle jealous is very normal in relationships. i bet you would feel that too once you really fell in love.

[thejigsup]

I don't like jealousy or possessiveness in any form, so no, to me it is not normal.

[CMS]

OP, you sounded like you have enough walls up to put an ancient castle to shame.

 

But yes, jealousy is definitely a sign of insecurity, you seem to be guarded and unavailable, therefore its human nature for the other guys to react this way to try to push you to return affection, and they get jealous when their affection is not returned.

[Reflective]

OP, you sounded like you have enough walls up to put an ancient castle to shame.

 

But yes, jealousy is definitely a sign of insecurity, you seem to be guarded and unavailable, therefore its human nature for the other guys to react this way to try to push you to return affection, and they get jealous when their affection is not returned.

Or I could be very in tune with my own emotions and prefer order and logic over it.

I can control both. Emotion is not a thing I like to dwindle in when it comes to relationships of any sort.

 

If a guy proposes to me. Gives me his word that if we are to have sexual relations an says it wont be serious and than all of sudden catches feelings.. I don't get that.

 

Maybe I do have walls built but hey it's not doing me any harm to be honest.

I dont get it why would anyone want my Affection when they told me if we are gonna gave sex it won't mean anything and no strings attached? Like what? lol!

[Reflective]

it depends on how they act on it. if they tell you to come home in demand instead of a caring kind of way,maybe you should be alarmed. if they not only tell you they dont like guys talking to you,but also do things to restrict you,yeah you should be alarmed.

if they only say this..its not that big of a problem.unless they are too passive-aggressive

but generally,subtle jealous is very normal in relationships. i bet you would feel that too once you really fell in love.

I fell in love. I wasn't jealous. Just curious.

He was honest and I liked it so... I wasn't jealous at all.

[CMS]

reflective, you are hilarious, your threads and ranting have always been highly entertaining. I need to get some popcorn next time

[SpottiOtti]

I'm not sure what you are asking. Are you attempting to understand this behavior and are hoping we can explain it to you, or are you asking if you should dump the guy?

 

Can't help you with the first one, but in my experience, someone who displays this sort of behavior early on in a relationship is only going to get worse, and possibly will cross over into the obsessive/violent realm. I would cut all ties with this dude if I were you. Better safe than sorry.

[Reflective]

reflective, you are hilarious, your threads and ranting have always been highly entertaining. I need to get some popcorn next time

aw thanks BB. people tell me I am very humorous in real life too.

[Reflective]

I'm not sure what you are asking. Are you attempting to understand this behavior and are hoping we can explain it to you, or are you asking if you should dump the guy?

 

Can't help you with the first one, but in my experience, someone who displays this sort of behavior early on in a relationship is only going to get worse, and possibly will cross over into the obsessive/violent realm. I would cut all ties with this dude if I were you. Better safe than sorry.

I am asking on a psychological/sociological stand point to where people get jealous or possessive over another human being?makes no sense to me. I can't relate because I don't get jealous of people or possessive as they are not mine to keep or control. maybe some people just aren't as forunate to access such a great philosophy in life?

I don't get it. People say "if you don't get jealous it's not normal".

 

and I say well you get jealous so obviously you have issues. you're that unsure of yourself that you can seriously get upset over what someone else has/does?!? what's the real problem here?

 

society seems very backwards.

[CMS]

just out of curiosity, are your parents unemotional and logical as well?