When dumpers want to reconcile with dumpees...

[Mellie]

Hating and demonizing the dumper will just prolong your anger and pain. Hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is, you cant heal properly if you still have strong feeling for your ex.

 

That's exactly how I've come to see it.

 

I would add though that, pheweeeeee, did I go through that stage. I think it's all just part of the process.

[MarnDark]

That's exactly how I've come to see it.

 

I would add though that, pheweeeeee, did I go through that stage. I think it's all just part of the process.

 

I am currently going through that phase now. It was primarily caused by my ex's sudden relationship after me though. I was learning to really accept the break up and I do understand that she had every right to be free then BAM! 3 weeks later, in a new relationship. Yeah, I am angry, very. Sorry, even it's wrong for now I know that nothing could really change the anger I have for her.

[Dr. Drees]

I am currently going through that phase now. It was primarily caused by my ex's sudden relationship after me though. I was learning to really accept the break up and I do understand that she had every right to be free then BAM! 3 weeks later, in a new relationship. Yeah, I am angry, very. Sorry, even it's wrong for now I know that nothing could really change the anger I have for her.

 

I'm in the same boat man. It took her 3 weeks to get over me. IM sure its just a distraction for her, but, my pain is the same regardless. I know she has the right to live her own life, but I can't help but feel a little betrayed.

[Mellie]

I am currently going through that phase now. It was primarily caused by my ex's sudden relationship after me though. I was learning to really accept the break up and I do understand that she had every right to be free then BAM! 3 weeks later, in a new relationship. Yeah, I am angry, very. Sorry, even it's wrong for now I know that nothing could really change the anger I have for her.

 

I was spared any of that by virtue of the fact mine was an LDR. Which I'm grateful for. What the eye doesn't see the heart doesn't grieve over.

 

I wouldn't take it well either.

[Nick Lansing]

When I went back to the woman I'd broken it off with, I did it because I missed her, and realized I'd taken her for granted. There were some heavy circumstances leading up to the break that had nothing to do with loss of attraction. But we were completely apart -- NC -- for about a month before it hit me.

 

Interestingly, we stayed in touch and hooked up occasionally for about 6 weeks before she went NC. During those 6 weeks, I didn't miss her. I felt like I still had her in my back pocket in case I changed my mind (these weren't conscious thoughts, and I didn't INTEND to string her along, but looking back that is exactly what I was doing). Losing her didn't become "real" to me until she went away completely, for a month or so.

 

She stopped returning my calls and texts. After about a month, I finally sent a text saying something like "Why won't you talk to me?" She called me back and was cold. She ended up hanging up on me. At that point I apologized and asked for another chance. It culminated in a long email in which I poured out my heat... and she said no.

 

We did get back together 4 months later. We seldom spoke about my email or all that, so I really don't know what effect it ha on her. She did admit she considered my offer for a couple of days... but more than anything she was angry at me for having taken her for granted and presuming she would drop everything and come back to me when i said the word. Over time, her anger subsided enough to give me another chance, but it never went away completely, and we broke up again a year and a half later. This time there was a lot less drama and acrimony, and we're still sort-of friends.

[octour]

I think that shows more class and integrity than the ones who string you along or, far worse, those who start something new without doing the breaking up with you bit first. That to me is the lower than pondslime.

 

-that is what i was referring to and that is exactly what she did to me.