Is it finally over?

[suzieann]

There's no doubt my ex boyfriend is depressed at the moment and we've broken up or nearly broken up quite a few times during a 4.5 year relationship. This time he says he doesn't know how to feel after my abortion (which he wanted,see previous threads).

 

I went round to see him yet again yesterday. We were due to move in together this month and were just finishing off the house renovation when we split up so alot of things of mine are either at his house or his parents house. I met him yesterday just to pick up a few personal things and his mood seems to have worsened since we last saw each other.

 

The other week when i saw him he was quite accomodating and friendly towards me when i went to see him, although he started getting upset when i mentioned the relationship...yesterday was different though. He was very unfriendly and cold, even though we'd been LC for the few days after our last meet. He had no time for me yesterday and refused to answer any questions on the relationship. I asked him about his feelings for me and he refused to comment. I didnt take any of my items from the house and i said i'd leave them there incase we got back together, he didnt force me to remove them...just seemed ok with the idea.

 

I am now back to NC. How do i know when its finally over? Would he have wanted me to move my things out if it was finally over? He's done this many many times and i believe this is just another time.

I also asked if he'd told anyone about the break-up and he said no. I am now going NC for myself and hopefully to give him the space he needs to get better.

[lavenderdove]

If after almost 5 years together this is the best you're getting from him, i'd say don't even bother with him anymore. Why do you want to be with someone who's done this 'many many times' before? At 5 years together, you should be progressing towards a real life together, marriage, settling down etc. If he heaves you out time and time again, that stability will never happen and you're just kidding yourself.

 

Find someone who is more stable and really wants to be with you, and wouldn't dream of risking your relatioship by doing this over and over again.

[suzieann]

Well we are still quite young so im not too worried about getting married just yet. I'm now 23 and he's 26 and we both said we'd talk about marriage once i'd finished by nursing degree in 3 years, so i wasnt really pressing him for too much commitment. We were going to be moving in together, but obviously that has all fallen through now.

 

I just dont know when its finally finally over. He refused to comment on anything, he said it would make things more complicated if he were to say anything at all to me because he knows i will analyze his every word.