Nostalgia Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 I never thought I could love someone I have never met, but here I am typing this because my feelings are so strong for him that I need some advice. I met him online maybe two or three years ago. We talked on and off for some time and then six or seven months ago we started talking a lot more. More often and about more serious topics. We started talking every single day about anything and everything that's bothering us and on our minds. We click in so many different levels. I can honestly say that this man is my best friend in the entire world. I can talk to him about things I have never been able to tell anyone before. When I was at a real low point in my life, I talked to him as I was freaking out and balling my eyes out and he somehow managed to calm me down and he gave me a drive to turn my life around. I am exactly where I want to be in life right now and I would not be here if it wasn't for him. He's really something special; he's said things to me that have made me cry happy tears. Things that he probably has no idea meant so much to me too. I hate using the word "love" because I don't even know what it is, but this certainly feels like it's more than just lust. I'm a very busy girl. I'm the type that even if you're my really good friend, you have to wait months to see me or talk to me because I'm always booked up with something. Regardless how busy I get though, I always make a point to talk to him at least once a day. Something I can't say I've done with anyone in my life. He has my full attention. I guess I wanted to describe my feelings a little before I got into what my dilemma is. He lives half-way accross the world. We're both fairly young and don't have enough money to see each other right now as much as we really want to meet. I want to be with him so bad, but I don't know if it's ever going to work and I've tried going on dates with guys that live close to me, but I can't stop thinking about him. My heart belongs to him. I don't know what I want advice on in particular, but I'm having a really hard time with this because it hurts not being able to be there for him when he's upset. I don't think I'll ever get over him and it's not like I could ever stop talking to him. I would seriously go crazy if I didn't have him. Is anyone going through the same thing? Or have you dealt with something like this before? I'd like to hear your stories because I'd do anything to be with him, but sometimes I just feel as though it's a lost cause and I'm just after something I can't have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess123 Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 Start saving. It sucks to be in that kind of situation. But start saving anything you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 I met my fiance online (here, actually) and we fell in love and started dating before we had met in person. When you take that plunge before meeting you have to be open to the fact it may not work out so well in person as it does online. For a lot of people they can connect via the net but put them in person and there is just no chemistry. My fiance and I realize we are one of the lucky ones in which when we met in person, everything we had online fell into place in person. So you can start a relationship with someone before meeting them but just be aware and prepare for it may not working out but yes, you need to meet in person for the relationship to go any were. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angelstar30 Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 I was sort of in the same boat. I had been talking to my now boyfriend for 5 years or so, we lost touch, and then one day we reconnected somehow. At some point, we started talking about more serious topics, and then proceeded to talk on the phone. I hate chatting on the phone, but 4 hour conversations became normal when we talked! I was so very broke back then, and was very upset at the prospect of not meeting him. Until I decided to just do it, because I didn't want to wonder "What if?" Best decision of my life! Save, save, save. I looked at classified ads and took pretty much any job I could get. I put ads in classifieds offering to do odd jobs - housekeeping, babysitting, and even running errands. Anything I could do to make a buck, I did! Or maybe you guys could both save up some money and meet somewhere in the middle. How far apart are you? If you can't afford airfare, and it's close enough to drive - maybe consider that. Or the bus or train, which can sometimes be cheaper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaintWithLight Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 Someone needs to get on a plane. I do not believe in that "we both have no money". You spend the money on things that you want and if you both started this LDR, someone needs to initiate the meeting. Air flights are very cheap if you shop around. It is really unfair to have these type of feelings of romance when you have never been face to face. Love is chemistry and how a person tastes, smells and feels is a big part of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 Someone needs to get on a plane. I do not believe in that "we both have no money". You spend the money on things that you want and if you both started this LDR, someone needs to initiate the meeting. Air flights are very cheap if you shop around. It is really unfair to have these type of feelings of romance when you have never been face to face. Love is chemistry and how a person tastes, smells and feels is a big part of that. Depends on what time of year and how far they have to travel. At no point is a plane ticket to visit my fiance less than $600, even on cheap websites. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voguester Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 The financial side of LDRs is really hard if you don't have a lot of money. My boyfriend lives in another country and I'd be lucky to find plane tickets that cost under $2000 and then you need travel insurance, passport and other documents so definitely not cheap. I do think it's worth it though, although we sometimes have our disagreements about things and it can be really difficult emotionally being away from someone you love everyday, months or even years at a time. I would suggest you start saving up, I'm sure it's do-able if you work. I can also say that it's such a great experience meeting someone you know you've been in love and then seeing them for the first time. I got the chance to do this just this year and it was more than I ever expected, it was even better in person because I got to touch him, hug him and kiss him...I miss it. I'm going to live and work in his country next year and because we both don't have the funds to do so at the moment, we have to be patient which is so HARD at times but I don't have a choice. So stick in there and try to keep your relationship going until you get the chance to meet, I hope it works out for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amistake Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Wow!! The exact same thing happened to me. He's 2 continents away,but we realized it soon, and have been in love for more than 7 months now. And I'll call it love, cos it's a very wonderful feeling. He's my best friend. I haven't met him yet, but we talk almost everyday, and that too for 3-4 hours. I've started saving up and willll visit him this Xmas for the first time and it already feels so exciting to think about it. And despite what people may say about how one cannot fall in love without meeting, it's utter rubbish. All that is needed is seriousness on both the parties' sides. We are so in love, it's crazy crazy but the best crazy ever. Dont think it's not normal, it;s completely normal and wonderful. I feel it buils trust, as the factor of attraction isn't a physical one, but a mental one, which is much much stronger. Have fun. It's a wonderful time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zuri Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 I'm interested to know from what countries each person and their SO are? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 I'm in the States, he's in the uk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voguester Posted November 26, 2011 Share Posted November 26, 2011 me Australia, him Canada Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scared21 Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 I am in love with a man on the other side of the Usa.... we dated for a year and a half, both poor as hell. Then hr got an amazing job. I just got back home from meeting him last week. It can happen, I never thought I would get to meet him, but I did and it W's amazing, worth the wait. We are meeting again soon. Do try it out it can eventually work out it did for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeavyRain Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 I am in love with a girl in canada, im from usa. I realize how lucky we are because A) it's less than a 2 hour plane ride and B) i work for an airline and fly free/very cheap (it's $20 in international taxes to fly to canada). It's still not completely easy saving up for hotels, etc but.. if you love someone enough you can make it work. Also, many airlines are booming and the one I work for is hiring. If you don't have a job that you already love I'd suggest trying to get in with an airline. I know that's a long-shot, but hell I thought the same when I applied for this job a year and a half ago (right as I was starting to talk to the love of my life online actually!). I kinda think it's fate bringing us together, and stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zuri Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 me Australia, him Canada How long is the flight? who will be moving??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voguester Posted December 26, 2011 Share Posted December 26, 2011 How long is the flight? who will be moving??? lol I know it's quite a bit of distance. The flight from memory was about 11 hours from Aus to USA and then 3 hours from USA to Canada so all up it's about 14 hours. Totally worth it though and I'm actually going to stay there for maybe 6 months in march next year...i'm so excited! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zuri Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 I'm excited for you. It's great you can go there for an entire six months! Again: wow! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaribbeanQueen Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Wow!! I just decided to do a search on this topic and u wouldnt believe how reading this thread makes me feel. If I tell anyone that I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huntress0527 Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 My husband was 600+ miles away. He moved to my state and has been living here over 2 years now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorshammer Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 I am usually the same in person, and finding someone who can match my communication is not easy to find. If i can find good phone "vibes", i hold on to them, because in my experience it does spill over to in-person, and the opposite holds true. I have tried to extend relationships with people who i had to struggle with on the phone and it never worked, we both lacked substance and energy in person. Both people need to be genuine, mature, and loyal for this to work, these arent easy attributes to hold on to for some people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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