Back at McDonald's, a new obstacle

[TheVP]

There's this girl that works at a McDonald's that I really like. I was hoping to ask her out last week and I was so bummed about heading out of town on a business trip. Now I am so glad I went on the business trip, it was definitely a great confidence builder for me. Our company had a conference out in Boston, and at the end of the week, I spent some great times going out to clubs with sales reps, (several who are really attractive looking women!).

 

So, feeling a bit more confident than I did after the ordeal two weeks ago, I headed back to the nearby McD's I've gotten to know quite well lately. I left around 2:30 to get there when things slow down for the workers. So when I got there, I could already feeling that feeling of confidence rapidly getting replaced with some anxiety, so I entered in the side door instead of the front door, so I could maybe see what was going on before being noticed by the nosy workers.

 

On that side of the restaurant, I saw that older black woman (Angie as her name tag says) was refilling the ketchup dispensers or something. I was really glad to see her, so called out "hey" to her. She was disrupted from her thought and seemed a little confused who was talking to her, and then had that look of recognition and a big smile and said something like "Hiiiii! You're baack!" I made some dumb joke about my last awkward exiting. And she told me that she was feeling bad about how I left and that she felt responsible for drawing attention to the situation. So I just laughed at off and told that I just got stage fright since I didn't pay attention in Spanish class back in high school.

 

So she chuckled and asked me if I was there to see Silvia again so I told her it'd be nice to have some language assistance and asked if she had any friends that would be interested to assist. She said "Well Silvia is taking the day off, but I bet Carlos would be glad to translate for you tomorrow." (pointing to a young guy wiping tables). Actually I was kind the feeling disappointment and relief to hear that girl wasn't there and kind of annoyed at the thought of a young dude doing the translation. But I just said "uh sure."

 

So then Angie went over and talked to him a little and then he came over and chatted with me for a little bit. I tried to make some small talk so I didn't sound overly interested or inquisitive about this girl I have a crush on. He acted pretty much really uninterested in all (which is a good thing). So then he asked me what I wanted him to say to her. "I said, I don't know for sure now. Just if you'll be available tomorrow would be great. I've kind of been thinking of asking her out some time"

 

He said "Well, I'll translate for you man, but I don't think you're going to get a date. She lives with her parents and her dad doesn't like her going out with guys he doesn't know."

 

After tossing this statement around in my mind for a could of seconds, I got a majorly sick feeling in my stomach and imagined Chris Hansen emerging from the bathrooms with his camera men and asking me if I'd like to take a seat. I was trying like crazy to picture her face in my head again.

 

"Damn! How OLD is she??" I asked and he said "Don't worry man, she's 26. She's from a small town, and her parents are really traditional."

 

So, I pretty much ended up my conversation with this guy, and went back to say thank you and goodbye to Angie.

 

Now I'm not sure if this guy is telling me the truth or he's just trying to say something so I'll back off because he's interested in her. Or worse, maybe she's told her co-workers to say that if they see me so she doesn't have to turn me down. Or equally worse, what if he is telling the truth, is this "game over" for me? I mean, I can't exactly show up at his door and say "Senior, I am a McDonald's patron that's really interested in your daughter." I might as well show up at some Immans house asking for permission to date his burqua wearing daughter.

 

Does anyone here have any experience with Hispanic culture? If so, does this sound legitimate to you?

[Princess123]

Wait she doesn't speak english?! I think first you need to get her contact information, see if she is single and interested. Then you can walk around with google translator. Too much trouble over one girl that you don't know.

[Mesemene]

Ok, at the risk of inserting an unwelcome reality check here - one of the main things that makes a date terrific is the flow of conversation and lively communication. If there's a HUGE language barrier, where she speaks VERY little english, I'm seeing problems that are completely unrelated to her culture/parents.

 

If she agrees to go out with you, where would you take her?

How would you communicate with her?

Is there any way you'd be able to determine how well the date was going?

 

If you're really set on dating this girl, I'd see if there was a way you could learn at least some rudimentary Spanish first, and not depend on a 3rd party translating - which to my mind would be a real damper on a date.

[TheVP]

You're probably right. Maybe I should call it quits. Back to dating friends of friends I guess. It's so depressing to think about it though. I was really hoping things could work out some how.

[Smile12]

I hate to be a party pooper here, but this is all just too much. (I have followed all of your posts about her) You two don't even speak the same language; I truly do not see things going anywhere in this situation. To be honest, I'd save yourself the embarrassment and just let it go.

[Fudgie]

TheVP,

 

I wrote it on your last thread but it got lost in the "AWWWW GO BACK!" posts so I will say it again here:

 

Walk away from this one.

 

This girl doesn't even speak your language. I'm sorry but how did you think that this could work? I'm all for people of different cultures coming together if they want but if you don't even speak the same LANGUAGE, how can you have a relationship?

 

Unless you are going to march down to your local community college and sign up for Spanish stat, I don't see this working at all. You can't even TALK to her. I'm not sure why you're worried about her culture/parents, that's putting the cart before the horse here. You can't even ask her how she is doing, or make small talk, in a language that she will understand.

[mines]

Hey TheVP, I am playing devil's advocate here. I hope people here don't shoot me down, lol. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with wanting to spend some time getting to know someone of a different culture and/or language. If she lives and works in the U.S. (as I have read here. . . .) then she has to be absorbing some of the language. Will it be a fluid exchange, maybe not. But it's not like you are going to go to her father and propose marriage here - from what I understand you would just like to get to know her....to ask her on a date.

 

I have had relationships with two men, neither had English as their Mother tongue. I speak ONLY English. Both relationships lasted a long time (one had good English the other NOT GOOD!) and in fact, I"m still close friends with the man who has very little English.

 

Could the language barrier be an obstacle in a relationship? Sure. Does that mean you should limit yourself to English speaking females? Damn. Why? Life is short. We set our own limits in life - so - I prefer not to set any. I can set limits once I"m dead.

 

Thanks for letting me put in my 2cents. I wish you the best - no matter what you choose!

[chitown9]

We will all be waiting impatiently for your next installment.....

[abitbroken]

I think if you had things in common with this girl and wished to date her, you should tell her that you would like to take her out for a date, but would like to meet her father and ask his permission to ask her out. She might find that terribly charming and then you'd be "in." But on the other hand, it would be very different if she spoke a couple words in English and you attempted to speak a little - like had a semester of Spanish way back in school enough to attempt small talk. Sometimes people are very flattered that you are even attempting to speak their language.

 

I think some relationships can blossom - but it takes time and effort to learn a little of the language, but when there is nothing in common period besides admiring a woman's beauty, it is more of a challenge.

 

I don't think you will be able to find out enough about this woman to go on a date. If you take spanish classes and come back months later, you have a shot to find out something that might give you any common ground to want to date her.

[Jetta]

Okay I'm with devil's advocate and believe you should follow your heart and see where it leads. I also know that some cultures do live with parents until marriage, not sure if that's part of the Hispanic culture or not but it's not uncommon. I also believe that guy was telling you the truth about her regardless of his interest level.

 

I do think you should talk with her and get her parents permission to date her, but of course get her permission first so you're not some stranger walking up to her door. I will say my cousin married a beautiful Hispanic woman, however he speaks Spanish fluently. They are happily married with 3 children, the oldest is now about 16. One of you is going to have to learn the others language. Like I said before she could be working there to learn our language, but it would be nice if you could say a few things to her in her own language. Shows interest.

[annie24]

I think you should go for her too!!! i bet she knows more english than she claims - i think she is shy. don't worry about the dad. just take her on public dates, it will be ok!!

 

have you started spanish lessons yet?

[diamond78]

You only live once....so go for it even if for my own selfish reasons of watching this heart-melting story unfold!

[caveman91]

My recommendation stands. Go "Vice-President of Romance"...get promoted to the "Senior-Vice President of Getting in There"

 

Dude think of all the obstacles you have to tackle in the business world. Learning a little Spanish should be child's play.

 

This could actually be great. And here's why. One of the biggest mistakes I make early in a relationship is over-sharing too early. With this girl you have that built in protection. You can learn a little Spanish at a time and plan out what you really wanna say. And you don't have to worry about saying something a little "off" when you get nervous during the date.

 

Often early in a relationship....less is more. And this is a key point where I often fail.

 

LOL. I think you are convincing me that I ought to be pursuing a woman that speaks little English. There are plenty of Senoritas in my city; maybe I've been swimming in the wrong pool all this time. LOL.

[jjcool00]

You HAVE to go for it, you've already made it obvious and stuck your nose out there... Seriously what do you have to lose? She says no and you're back at the same position you're at now. Order some rosetta stone because even if this doesn't work out, knowing spanish is helpful for any businessman/woman. Plus a lot of communication can be deciphered solely by body language, your movements, actions, etc. She's 26, yes she lives with her parents and they might be against dating but when my ex was 26, same thing, she did it on the side and they didn't know about "us" until 2 years into the relationship. If someone wants something bad enough, they'll find a way to make it work.

[coldheart]

Any updates?

[TheVP]

Any updates?

 

Yes, my unfortunate update is under the topic "Bittersweet afternoon".

 

Thanks for asking!