I just miss him....

[Faith276]

We agreed to have 3 weeks of NC to sort ourselves out. He has said that he wants to get back together when he feels better but I am really struggling.

The first week and a half after the break up was fine, but I think it is all hitting me now. I feel so low - I am trying to keep positive, focus on me - I have joined a gym and am trying to think 'if you cant be with yourself alone, then why would someone else want to be with you' but it is so hard. This positive thinking malarky is very tricky to keep up. I can't afford to fall to pieces right now.

 

I don't know how I will get through the next three weeks - also the uncertainty about whether/when we will get back together is killing me - it is like a hole in my heart.

[RitaTrue]

When you care for the person, NC will be hard initially. But it DOES get better.

 

It's good that you're at leat investing in a gym. It took me about 2 1/2 months after our official break up, before I felt like doing anything.

 

My biggest thing is this: For now, forget about him. And forget about the limbo of getting with him or not. Focus on this: what do YOU want? (This is actually a real question, not rhetorical, by the way).

 

What exactly do you want? What do you desire from all this?

[Faith276]

I have joined the gym - am going because my friend works there, and I feel slightly better when I am not alone.

 

I want to have three weeks where he really looks at how he can make himself better - not just thinking that getting rid of me will do the trick. For myself, I want to get to a point where we can both talk openly about what we REALLY want. I want to spend a little time apart, realise that although we have things to work on, throwing away what we have got is stupid, especially if he really wants me and is just being self-sacrificing for reasons that are temporary.

 

After the break, I want us to be in a place where we can meet up and talk about how we feel - then begin to get to know each other again. Maybe try dating, slowly.

 

When we didn't meet up on Friday because he thought it would be too hard, I felt like I would never see him again, because it will always be hard. If he really does have feelings for me, that are so strong that seeing me drive my car made him upset that he wasn't with me, I don't see how we will be able to work it out, especially if he won't even see me because of it. Its just such a stupid situation to be in - if you love someone, you are with them - not, i love her but i want her back in the future and its too hard to see her because i cant stand the thought of her talking about any new guy friends she has made.

 

I just want to cry....

[RitaTrue]

We all cry in the beginning. And that's ok.

 

I know how you feel, I felt the same way. (And probably so does everyone else on these boards). At first, you'll feel the all-consuming need to be with them, talk to them, and will hate being apart from them.

 

But, later on, in the future, you'll come to a place where this desire is there, but it's not all consuming.

 

After that, the thoughts will be occassional. And over time, they'll grow dry.

 

And finally, they'll be near non-existent.

 

It's all about time. Just grieve for now. You'll make it