Never been through something like this before....

[DLAN]

Looking for some advice on a situation that I have never been through before and I don't know how I should go about it. I'll try to keep it as short as I can. So basically I went through a rough break up (on my end anyways) and I'm wanting to get her back.

Here's the situation:

Me and her dated for 3 years (senior year of high school into two years of college) and talked about marriage allot. She broke up with me about two months ago and ever since then there has been limited contact. Around a week or two after our break up I wrote her a letter saying that I still love her and I think we can work but she responded saying that she isn't wanting it right then. After that the only real contact was short texts asking when would be a good time to swap things of each others.

 

The break up itself sucked for me. I am in the military and was scheduled to leave for a two week training school. The day before I left she called me and essentially told me she wanted time to herself. I came back with no contact from her, so I called and she then told me it was over. About a week later I wrote her the letter saying how I feel. And the next day I met up with her best friend who then informed me of the REAL reason she broke up with me. She broke up with me because she felt that she never really has gotten the chance to live life without a relationship basically. Then near a week later I find out she goes on a road trip with a guy that spent our 3 year relationship trying to do all he could to break us up and get her.

With all of this I found the break up to be extremely rough and I was very pissed off for awhile (never told her I was but she might have figured out from friends). We both have been growing allot and personally I have changed tons of things about my life for the good which I'd love to be able to share with her. We both go to different universities and because of no contact I don't ever see or talk with her. Lately, even though I've deleted her from my FB, I have been seeing allot of things from her through friends and no matter how busy I stay or the people I meet I still miss her.

 

I'm just very lost on what I should do and how I go about getting her back (if I have any chance). If there's any advice out there that could help me out it'd be much appreciated.

[dave cat]

DLAN, I know it's really really tough and I feel for you, truly.

There is lots of good advice on here but essentially she has to WANT to come back.

Embrace your own changes but change with pure intentions, it should be all about you.

Please don't torture yourself by snooping on Facebook, you can block her which means that you will not be able to see anything posted by her or about her.

Take the time to work on yourself and whatever will be will be.

[The_Seeker]

WHOA,I feel like you are the DEAR JOHN movie character.

 

If I were you, I wouldn't want her back despite the fact it was 3 years relationship. I take it you are like 21 or 22/23?

 

If I were you, I focus on creating a better career. Force all those negative energy onto your career and getting fit. That's what I did.

 

Figure out what you want and need in your life.

 

Once you figure that out, that is the key to unlock the peace that you need.

 

Also, if someone "blames" you for them of not having a life, it's not your fault. She basically was emotionally cheating on you. Not only that, it shows her character who she is really. Would you want someone you had a long term relationship [say 10 years] and said she didn't have a life because she was busy playing a wife, mom, and family? Nu huh not me. I would go find someone better before letting that happen and even commit.

 

I know it's a scary world out there because a lot of people are interested into casual hooking up. I don't think you are that type of guy. So keep focus on your career and surround yourself with good people.

 

By the way, I'm jealous of your girlfriend. Any girl would be happy to have a guy like you who put in a lot of effort when things go bad.

 

Also, thanks for serving our country.

 

Good luck. Be strong. Every time you miss and think of her, you better give me 20 pushups. ;] Make that 40 since you are a guy and in the military. Ha ha!

[DLAN]

Thanks for the answers guys, I'm definitely working on myself and it's going real well. I've done allot with my life in just the past two months that I normally wouldn't have gotten the chance to.

And I do use the energy to benefit myself, I'm certainly in the best shape of my life because of it

I know it's hard to get passed and at times I'm going to miss what once was but I'm going to take your advice and do me for me.