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No motivation to grow, lost, and wandering with no purpose.


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To begin, I'm one month into college, and I'm having trouble shaking the feeling that perhaps I rushed in too soon without properly planning for this type of life.


My health is deteriorating. I essentially wake up, go get breakfast, go to class, and pass out due to immense and strong fatigue afterwards, zapping my productivity. What's more, I often find myself unable to accomplish tasks due to wondering the point of starting them in the first place. To make matters worse, I've yet to declare a major.


Also, I'm eighteen and I have no interest in trying to date anyone. I'm unable to tell if anyone is interested in me, and I am far too apathetic to express interest in anyone else. My libido is perfectly fine, but I see no use in a relationship. I'm not complaining about this by any means; this is just an observation on myself that I have made, and I'm wondering why that is the way it is. I don't believe this is the right mentality I should have, but it's the one I have nonetheless.


I feel so lost, coupled with an inability to connect to my peers in a way that I would like. I won't change to fit in with them, but I wish I could be more open toward them. It's an unfortunate rut I've gotten in to since starting college, and I'd like out. There must be a way.

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do you have any idea what you plan to do post college? 4 years will fly by before you know it, it's good to be prepared : )


Absolutely not. I have ideas, but I question whether or not I'll actually follow through, or if I have the intellectual capability.


That's another issue; I question if I have the intelligence to handle this type of education.

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I'm going to agree with Mguy here. If you feel college is not right for you at the moment (and you're not just overwhelmed with the work) then quit and go get a job and work for a while. I wasted so much time (and money) in university feeling the same way. Not sure if it was right but it was kind of the thing most people did. I don't regret it entirely but if I could go back and do things differently I would have. I was so happy when I took 8 months off and worked and went to college, no regrets there. So take some time off, work and save and figure out what you want to do. You'll have a much better experience and success if you go to post secondary knowing that it is what you want to do and what you're working towards.

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Maybe you should just ride out the routine until you feel completely tired of it. If you want out of the rut then put forth the effort to change it, otherwise you're not really wanting out, you're just saying it. Idk, you sound a lil depressed, which is cool as long as you're not drowning in it.. You don't need to date anyone if you don't feel like it. Maybe being alone for a while will let you explore the depth of who you are before you try and jump into some stupid relationship with your eyes closed, so you don't even know who your dating and next thing you know youre gettin screwed over, haha.. Who cares what everyone else thinks about your mentality, what's right or wrong. As an objective point of view.. your melancholic mentality is allowing you to be more down to earth.. maybe you can just sit amidst the haze that is making you "feel so lost" and watch it without actually feeling lost. Maybe in all your lostness, you're actually right where you should be.? Meet new people who you do feel accepted around and know you can be yourself fully.. join groups, clubs. Idk.. volunteer.

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You don't want to end up in your 30's feeling No motivation to grow, lost, and wandering with no purpose.


This is what I fear the most. I'm in my mid 20's and people tell me I'm only young but I'm so tired being lost and not knowing what I want to do. I don't want my 20's to be spent in limbo.


OP, it's common to feel overwhelmed in your first semester of university. Infact, I found that the easiest years and the time when I felt most comfortable were my final 2 years. The final year was the hardest academically obviously but it was also the most fun.


That being said, I don't believe that it is good to go to college and not feel 100% about it. It's a lot of money and time spent and if you're not 100% sure then I'd consider a break from it. You are 18 and most 18 year olds I don't think are mature enough to take college as serious as it should be. Of course it's meant to be alot of fun but you still need focus, purpose and direction.


If after this semester you are still confused, I'd think about taking some time off. Like others have said, working in the real world in a crappy job could provide a bit more motivation for you to aim to get a better job. Also, I'd consider doing some travel if you are that way inclined. That will give you a bit of life experience and knowledge, something most 18 year olds lack.

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I'll have to disagree with what most are saying here. I did not have a major until starting my 3rd time; however, I did take classes for my major starting second year. Yeah, there were some classes I took that weren't for my major. Yeah, that sucked. If I could go back, I would not have done that. But, a lot of people did that. Anyway, if you feel you must take a semester off, do it; but don't over do it. Because as time will go on, you will feel less incentive to go back to school and you might have this mentality that's it's too hard after such a break.

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