messedup500 Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 Ok, where to start? I'll try and keep things short and organized. My husband and I have been married for almost a year. We broke up for a couple years after high school, but ended up back together and married. He is in the military and is currently deployed for the second, and hopefully last, time. So, now to dive into the mess. He cheated on me a month before our wedding, about 3 months after his first deployment. I didn't find out about him cheating (had to figure it out on my own) until we had been married for about 5 months, we decided to work through it. But, we didn't have much time because he was always training and then deployed about 2 months ago. It's been really hard to get over him cheating and I really do love him. But, this is where things get worse. An ex of mine moved real close to where I'm staying and contacted me on my birthday about a month ago. We started talking and met up, which I felt bad enough about, but I told him about my husband cheating and confided in him. We started talking more and the next time we met up, we had sex. The whole time I thought about my husband, but I was still mad at him for cheating and was feeling so lonely. It happened once more after that, and almost happened again, but I put a stop to it. He had been telling me how he never stopped caring and was sorry he ended our relationship, then got upset when I said that I wasn't going to leave my husband. But, anyway, I want to tell my husband what happened, I know I have to because I know how bad it hurts to find out from someone else. And, I know that our marriage can't work with this nasty secret. It was totally unlike me to cheat, but I was feeling vulnerable and hurt with everything going on. I know there's no excuse and I'm so sick with myself. I just don't know how I'm going to go another 5 months without telling my husband what happened. But, I can't tell him while he's deployed, it could compromise his safety and those around him. I just can't believe I'm here right now, in this position. I NEVER thought I would be one of these women. Anyone have anything to say? Hopefully more than calling me a cheater or saying I deserve it..I know what I did was wrong..But, I want to fix it.. Link to comment
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