Relocating and confused

[LovelyLily]

Hi guys. I need some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for a year now and I love him very much. Out of all the relationships I’ve had, he’s the one I actually see myself spending the rest of my life with. I’m 26 work full time, go to school part time and still live at home while paying rent to my parents. He is 27 and works full time and still living at home as well. Where we live it is very hard to afford to live on your own and would be struggling if we moved in our own apartment.

 

My issue is that I’ve been given the opportunity to buy my own house and attend a good school. The thing is that it’s in another state. Although he says he’s open to the possibility of moving out of state, my boyfriend has expressed that he will not move anywhere other than the general area he’s in now. I would love for him to come with me and start our own lives together but I feel he will not say yes.

 

Am I being selfish for wanting him to move to another state with me? He would be leaving his parents and siblings, but so would I. I do have a couple relatives that do live close by in the state I want to move to, but we would both be starting a new chapter in our lives together.

 

I haven’t talked to him about it yet because I’m afraid he will say no and leave me on the spot. I know this conversation has to happen but I’m afraid of the consequences if he disagrees. How should I tell him about this opportunity and how can I brace myself for the negative response?

[Princess123]

School prevails bf. If your paying for the school yourself though keep in mind going out of state means out of state tuition (generally a lot higher!).

 

He has his own life there, his friends, job etc. Brace yourself by knowing in the end of it you will get a good education and you will be proud of yourself for that. Guys come and go but education/degree will always be there.

[Batya33]

I agree with this. Please don't forego this opportunity for someone you are dating. If you were engaged to be married I'd have a different opinion most likely.

[nutbrownhare]

You don't know if he will refuse until you ask him; you may be surprised, you may not. However, you can't make any other plans until you know for certain.

[Princess123]

You can't go into that talk thinking that if he doesn't want to do that you will stay. It can't depend on him you have to make a decision and stick to it that you are going for your education period.

[Mesemene]

This sounds like an amazing opportunity for you! I'd grab it with both hands.

 

Things may work out with this guy - or they may not. This will give you something you'll have for the rest of your life, which at this point, isn't something your relationship is guaranteed to give you.

 

Opportunity of a lifetime trumps his comfort zone. If he truly feels the way you do, he'll see it as an opportunity for both of you.