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She loves me, She loves me not. Help a broken heart.

pbnjam

By pbnjam
in Breaking Up Advice

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pbnjam Newbie

pbnjam

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I've been dating this girl for 2 years. Two of which years I was the one that she loved and I was the one who didn't show love back. She did everything a good girl friend should do.

Sept 17th marked the day she decided that it was best for us to part ways. She explained it was because she loved me for so long and never received it back and that as time went on, she began falling out of love. She said it hurt so much for 2 years and she wished so much that I would love her back, she even had 5 dreams where I said I loved her.

 

I do love her. With all my heart. I didn't show it and I know I messed up big time. I regret every moment that I didn't show her the love she deserved. She says she stilled confused, she said she needs time to think. I'm so scared that if she gets time to think that she'll fall more and more out of love for me.

 

I know it was a mistake but I went to see her last night, I want to show her that I do love her, I told her I do. I set up this whole sweet thing and we talked for a long time.. 2 hours. I ended up kissing her. Oh my god it felt so good. I asked her at the end if it was okay that I did because she kissed back too... she said she didn't know.

 

She explained that she doesnt know if she should get back with me because her feelings weren't like they were before and that she doesn't want to relive the past 2 years because it'd be another waste of time.

 

I love her. I absolutely do. I know I want to be with her... I know I need to give her space. After last night, I couldn't sleep.. I reopened my damned wounds. She mentioned that her mom knows all about this... I wonder if I should go to her Mom and be genuine and ask her mom for help. Her mom is a nice person... I'm 70% sure she'd keep confidentiality....

 

I miss her. There's that bubble in my heart, that pressure in my chest. If she'd only take the risk to feel love... I could show her the love she's wanted.

 

Some advice would be greatly appreciated as this broken heart needs to mend.

 

@smile12 because... I'm 22 years old... she was my first girlfriend and I thought that love would be this miraculous beam of light that would tell me Thou lovet herthshse. Ank. Wrong. So delusional. I didn't want to show love if I never said it. Sigh. Now that I'm ready to show it, she's not sure what to do. She said that its not only that she's scared and doesn't want a repeat, but that she also lost an amount of feelings for me. Sigh. We spent the last 4 days of our relationship together and it was one of the most real times we had in our relationship because I finally showed that I loved her. It was last week's Weds - Saturday. Those were some of the happiest days of my life, I made a youtube video to surprise her when she woke up that compiled those few days HOPING that (because at that time she was unsure if she wanted a break) it would convince her not to go on the break.

 

hxxp 0QRVcPoTJBUDZkPI9_8lw

 

She said that those days were wonderful too.

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digdug Contributor

digdug

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Honestly it's simple dude, if you truly love someone you can't hide that . You don't need to say it in words, but you do because it feels so incredible. I know you think you love her, but it sounds more as if you now just miss her. Talking to her Mom is NOT the way to go. Love is about two ADULTS who are in love. That has nothing to do with her mother. I wouldn't give her space, it sounds like you gave her too much of that already. You need to SHOW love ... it can't be faked. She'll know if you're sincere or not. You created this problem so you need to fix it if you want it. You're not getting responses on here because no one can fix it if you didn't try yourself. So, if you want it, make it happen ... it's that simple. I wish you luck ... now go get her. The rest is up to you.

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digdug Contributor

digdug

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that's up to you ... you gave her so much space that she didn't have a choice but to move on. I wouldn't beat yourself up. Why not take this time to try and figure out why you didn't respond to her reaching out and loving you. There has to be a reason. Work on fixing you, then the rest will come.

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In The Cold Newbie

In The Cold

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here's the thing dude - if you dated that long, your paths will almost certainly cross again in the future. My first girlfriend and I had broken up for an entire year before reconciling and getting back together...subsequently, it didn't work out again the second time, we both realized that we wanted to keep dating new people to truly discover what we wanted. So on the one hand - don't trouble your mind too much with thoughts of "she's gone forever" because she for sure isn't.

 

I think based on your last meeting you still have a legitimate shot with this girl - so go for it man - talk it out with her, see what she's afraid of and open up to her

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digdug Contributor

digdug

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it hurts to breathe and the crying is making my head light

 

I know, it sucks. I've been there and understand. The key is now, what are you going to do to make it better? You deserve to be happy, don't you? Well, make that happen. Decide how you want to live your life, then set your sights on that now. Don't wait, empower yourself to grow from this. She'll take notice. Believe me.

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smil3 Newbie

smil3

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As a girl who's waited for ages to get an "I love you" back, I'd say you messed up big time. You have no idea how much it hurts when you don't hear the three magic words back so she is right to be upset and angry and perhaps her feelings are fading. However, if you're really honest about your feelings now and you keep treating her like you have since you found out about this I'm sure she'll take you back. After all, it seems like she still loves you just didn't want to go on not knowing how you felt.

 

PS: You two look like a really cute couple

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pbnjam Newbie

pbnjam

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As a girl who's waited for ages to get an "I love you" back, I'd say you messed up big time. You have no idea how much it hurts when you don't hear the three magic words back so she is right to be upset and angry and perhaps her feelings are fading. However, if you're really honest about your feelings now and you keep treating her like you have since you found out about this I'm sure she'll take you back. After all, it seems like she still loves you just didn't want to go on not knowing how you felt.

 

PS: You two look like a really cute couple

 

thanks smil3. u really think she will? where's the balance between space and showing her i love her?

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Ms Darcy Mentor

Ms Darcy

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I can believe she has fallen out of love. I think she stopped loving you long before the breakup, so you still think there's love left when it reality this has been brewing for a while. I know it's not what you want to hear, but any reconciliation will probably take months if it happens at all. In the meantime, you need to do the best you can to take care of yourself.

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pbnjam Newbie

pbnjam

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I can believe she has fallen out of love. I think she stopped loving you long before the breakup, so you still think there's love left when it reality this has been brewing for a while. I know it's not what you want to hear, but any reconciliation will probably take months if it happens at all. In the meantime, you need to do the best you can to take care of yourself.

 

you really think she did?

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