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Guy fallen for Lesbain Friend

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The situation pretty much explains it's self.


Ive become very good/close friends with a friend i met through a friend, who is Gay. We had talked for 5 or 6 months before acutally ever hanging out ( due to distance ). I sololy went in knowing the situation and set my mind on avoiding feelings and all. We connected very well, better then anyone i have ever met, and know stuff bout each other that friends we have had longer don't even know.

In august she ended up coming to where i live and staying for 5 days, and we hit it off great. When she left, i just missed hanging out with my best friend.


A few weeks ago i ended up going away for a week and visiting her, same mind set and everything. Near the end of my trip, i started to feel towards her due to how long we got along and all. We cuddled every night all night, held hands, etc. Strictly platonic or whichever,Even been told i bring the best out of her from friends, and did stuff with each other we don't normally do ( not sexually ) Since ive been home i have missed her greatly.. and she admits missing stuff, the cuddling, hanging out and everything. I dont want to like her, and dont want to admit it because i will lose my closest friend, and part of the reason im on here is because she is the one i talk to, and id rather not bring it up in that manner.


She has been with guys before when she was younger, but said it wasn't the best experience and all that, it gives me small hope but i dont want the burdon of the feelings. Its distracting me alot and effecting me at work n all that. I dont quite know what to do, because it seems both exit routes seem to go towards ruining our friendship. I want to be just friends even though the thought of more is wicked due to our chemistry. But it sucks living so far away from her..

Any advice in anyway hah? would be greatly appreciated

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I can understand the conflicting emotions due to the experiences you have had with her.

I'd say continue to be there as a friend and try your best not to let other feelings get in the way.

Who knows what the future will bring.

Maybe she will have the same feelings.

Maybe she does right now.


If things happen let them happen naturally.

If you come out with your feelings towards her in one go, you could lose all that you have with her at the moment.

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Been in this situation before. My lesbian female friend used to think about what we'd be like together, fantasize etc. I was basically her boyfriend without the physical perks for a little while. It turns out no matter what she felt for me emotionally, she was not physically attracted to males and therefore would never be attracted to me in that way (She'd been with guys in her earlier life too).


My advice would be, unless she's bisexual it's unlikely to ever reach the level you want it to reach and will just get frustrated, so basically respect her sexuality and back off a little if you don't want to just be friends. I don't want to sound negative but I've been there before and wouldn't go through the trouble again.

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Thanks for the replies.

Really helped put it in prospective, and going to keep it as friends.

If something changes, something's changes. Can't force it or anything.

She calls us an item so might as well take that haha

And even said we'd be dating, if the physical stuff was there.


Jonty, that pretty much sums up how it was, no physical stuff but like a boyfriend.

I'd rather not destroy a wicked friendship anyhow. Just take it for what it is!


Thanks again for the advice !

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