I really want to kill myself now.

[Chansung]

I'm always alone, my parents are divorced and my mother doesn't come home from work until I'm asleep. I've talked to my teachers, social worker, guidance counselor and my mother. It seems like no one cares. Whenever I try to make friends it always seems like once class is done or when it comes to group activities they leave me out on purpose. I don't know if it's my generation but it seems I have nothing in common with anyone I meet. The kids I meet are always either into drugs/alcohol/fights or into getting "1337 no scopes" (whatever that is). Then there's these 11th/12th graders who make fun of me because I'm Asian and my passion for singing. I guess I could factor in that ever since I've gotten gangbanged and sent to the hospital I've become socially awkward. I'm always alone in my passion for singing and breakdancing, I never use to be like this until I moved. I want to move but I can't because of my horrible attendance. And yes I'm skipping school because every time I go to school I feel much worse then the previous time. I'm just contemplating about killing myself right now since it seems like nobody cares about me and killing myself won't really affect everyone around me. What's the point in living when I can end my suffering right now...

[happyfrank]

Follow your dreams. Knowing how to sing is great talent. Don't let negativity of other people get to you. The world is large and people are different everywhere you go!

[sollepus]

I may not be the best at giving advice, since I have some suicidal tendencies myself. However, I'm 25 and I've made it this far.

 

The biggest thing you NEED to know is high school is garbage. Nothing that happens there really matters. You will make your real, true friends once you are out (and hopefully in college majoring in music)!

 

If they make fun of you for being Asian, they are ignorant bullies with nothing better to do (not to mention racist bigots; I cannot stand that!). I was "social" in high school, but I cut all ties with those toxic jerks when I went to college, and I am MUCH better for it.

 

Congratulations on reaching out, it took me 25 years. Please continue to hold on. Suicide is permanent. You are way to young with too much going for you to even worry about stupid HS crap. Feel free to message me and I can tell you some of my high school horror stories. You really aren't alone. *hugs*

[sollepus]

Oh and side note; killing yourself WILL effect EVERYONE around you: family, friends, pets, people you may not even realize care about you. So please try not to think that. Every life is important. And you are not alone in your passions. Maybe in your area, but definitely not in the real world.

[Jetta]

My son killed himself, it does affect many more people than you realize from your parents, to siblings, to friends, to relatives, and acquaintances, even people who haven't met you yet are affected because they met those who were affected and it leaves an imprint. Do not do it, you'd let those jerks win? See about going to a different school, I wish I would have tried that when I was young. My school was a small town school it was super clicky and I wasn't in the click. However a neighboring school was less clicky, and it was in my jurisdiction. Life begins when school ends.