Ok, I thought yesterday was going to be bad, today flat out sucks.

[digdug]

Started the day yesterday a little rough. No tears, just a blah feeling. However, due to some wonderful people on here, and my two beautiful boys, I made it through the day and gained strength throughout the day. By night time I felt pretty good.

 

This morning I had to say good bye to both of my boys, as they will now spend the next week with their Mom. This is always hard for me, they are my life. I have had them since my break up/ break ... whatever it is, and they have been a good source to take my mind off of things. After 2 hours of hard work, my 7 year old learned how to tie his shoes last night, and when I came down this morning to take him to school, he was beaming, as he sat there, shoes tied. I am sooooo proud of him, and I can't get that smile out of my head. Dropping him off sucked. He is having a hard time adjusting to this divorce. I talk to him daily, and he tells me he's ok. He says he's a little sad that he doesn't have his family, but I know he's hurting and just doesn't want to ruin the good time we're having. However, I've heard he's been acting out a little lately, and it kills me. He is such a good kid, he's polite, gets good grades, is athletic ... he's a true gentleman. He's been opening doors for people since he was 3. My 4 year old is better, he can't really get a grip with what is going on. But he kept telling me he is going to miss me. This past Monday when I dropped him off he wouldn't leave my side. He NEVER has done this, and it took me by surprise. His preschool teachers helped me make him happier, and then he was fine. Today, when I dropped him off, I was holding back with all my might not to cry. His teacher noticed and said "daddy's turn today?" I said a goodbye and quickly left. I've not stopped crying since.

 

I feel particularly alone today, but know I need this time. One week ago, if I felt this way, I'd call my girlfriend. I'd use her to help make me happy, instead of doing it on my own. Today, I miss her. I'm not, mad, or gripping ... I just miss her. I want her in my life in some capacity, but also know that I can't have that until I come to grips with me. I need to grieve, and then grow. Even if she and I are just friends, I want her to see that I have put my life back together, on my own. I need that for me first.

 

So, today it all hit me. I'm single again and alone. The house is quite and is littered with the small toys and clothes from the boys, left for me to clean up. Little reminders of the joys of my life everywhere I look. I miss them, I miss her, but most of all I miss me .... I need to find him soon.

 

Hope everyone else is having a good day. I could use a smile

[Princess123]

This shows your a really great dad and I wanted to say that.

 

 

[ElleBelle]

Digdug! Keep your head up! I am pulling for you! Can you do something fun for yourself? Maybe take an art class or something like that?

[snippot]

Hey Dig, was wondering how things were going. I know how it feels in those early days feeling alone. It is a scary feeling. I was always one to fill the void with another relationship...which we know is not the best way to go. When I decided to 'gut' it out and really work on myself... counseling, reading, spending time alone..... I found that after a month or 2, I actually ENJOY my alone time... Thats right I look forward to it believe it or not. And I was the biggest crybaby after my breakup about being alone with nothing to do. Once I stopped focusing on all the stuff I wasnt doing, made peace with the fact that this is a time of my life to be alone....it completely turned around. I know, we hear that kind of stuff all the time, blah blah it happens when you stop wanting it etc...but it is true.

What helped me to relax in this 'transition' period, was to remind myself that this was my time, and it is not going to last forever.

Its early for you, and you are dealing with a divorce and a break up.....give yourself 3 months of YOU time, and then reevaluate. Hang in there....you really do sound like a great dad, and have a good perspective on things....knowing is half the battle, its time to do it now.

[digdug]

Elle - actually I bought a new drawing table and all the stuff just the other day !! That is too funny. Yes, I plan to get drawing again, and I can't wait. Thank you so much for checking in, it is so wonderful to hear such positive things.

 

Snippot - Thank you so very much. You're right, and everything you have said are things that have passed through my mind time and time again. I am sad now, but am feeling MUCH better. I do need this time and plan to take full advantage, one I get my house cleaned up, lol.

 

Thank you everyone. I truly appreciate it ....

[digdug]

This shows your a really great dad and I wanted to say that.

 

 

Thank you princess

[feellikeafool]

hey dig, like i said yesterday take ur own advice cos u do give some great advice. i think everyone on this forum needs the space to adjust to life alone, to learn to enjoy the time alone, to learn to love themselves rather than ask to be loved...i know i def need to learn to love myself again...ur doing the right thing by focussing on urself and improving urself from this experience rather than following instinct and ignoring that there are reasons u guys r not together and caving to the urges.

 

ur a very strong person and i admire that in u...keep it up...we will all get there some day with a little bit of help from eachother...i've still not figured out how to pm on this site but i'm here if u ever want to talk

[feellikeafool]

oh and about ur kids, ur doing a great job...my daughters father hasnt made attempt to see her in 4yrs...it takes a lot to be a real man and not take the easy root by walking away.

 

tell ur kids they are lucky...they now how 2 homes...will get double the gifts on bdays and xmas...will get spoilt and have individual time with both parents....and just give them reassurance that u r only a call away and they can come stay with u wenever they feel like it

 

u should be a very proud dad

[digdug]

Thank you

 

The strength comes from helping others, and so badly wanting to grow from this. I deserve ... we ALL deserve to be happy. It's really that simple.

[ginstt]

eu0026quot;A dockworker applies a constant horizontal force of 76.0 to a block of ice on a smooth horizontal floor. The frictional force is negligible. The block starts from rest and moves a distance 10.0 in a time 5.50 .u0026quot;rnrnWhat is the mass of the block of ice?rnrnIf the worker stops pushing at the end of 5.50 , how far does the block move in the next 5.60 ?

[offplanet]

Elle - actually I bought a new drawing table and all the stuff just the other day !! That is too funny. Yes, I plan to get drawing again, and I can't wait. Thank you so much for checking in, it is so wonderful to hear such positive things.

 

Snippot - Thank you so very much. You're right, and everything you have said are things that have passed through my mind time and time again. I am sad now, but am feeling MUCH better. I do need this time and plan to take full advantage, one I get my house cleaned up, lol.

 

Thank you everyone. I truly appreciate it ....

When I broke up with someone years ago, he lent me a book 'Drawing on the Right side of the Brain' and I went through that and learned to draw. It gave me a new lease on life.

[feellikeafool]

Thank you

 

The strength comes from helping others, and so badly wanting to grow from this. I deserve ... we ALL deserve to be happy. It's really that simple.

 

happiness really is the key here...if were not happy how can we possibly expect others to make us happy or make them happy

[digdug]

happiness really is the key here...if were not happy how can we possibly expect others to make us happy or make them happy

 

I like the way you think ... perfect. We can't expect others to make us happy, just help give us strength. If the opposite were true, I wouldn't be single today.

[feellikeafool]

I like the way you think ... perfect. We can't expect others to make us happy, just help give us strength. If the opposite were true, I wouldn't be single today.

 

 

lol me neither...its a shame that its takes something so big to happen b4 we realise it tho...on the plus side we know now and can work towards bettering outselves....how u been this evening dig?

 

i feel really sad but i dont think the truth of wats happened has hit me just yet...i seem to be coping better than most...i've not even cried yet well i did wen i spoke to him on the fone yesterday a lil but not a lot

[digdug]

But it is ok to cry. Don't let that define how you're handling this. As an outsider, I can see you gaining strength in the few short days I've been on here. It is big, and it sucks, but I won't let that dictate how I go on from here. I am so determined to grow from this, I simply can't tell you. Perhaps I'm just masking my sadness, I don't know, but for now, it is what keeps me going. It is also ok to feel sad. If you didn't, it would make no sense. You're human, and you care. You loved and trusted, and were failed. That DOES NOT make you a failure, it makes the match a failure, for now. You can't changed the past, or influence the future, all you can do is put yourself in a better position to find that person that will pick you from a crowd.

 

I'm doing pretty good. I met some friends for dinner and drinks. It was a nice evening. I now have some friends calling me and trying to get me to go out ... oyi.

[feellikeafool]

i think were both on the same page here with the growing and becoming stronger...its so cool that someone understands...thanks dig...u shud go out...it might do u gud

[feellikeafool]

i hope u do go out and do something for urself...dont get drunk tho...drinking wen feeling this emotional is neva a gud thing.

 

i dont know where u r but where i am its now 2.15am so i better go to bed....this is always the hardest part...not being able to say gudnite to him, not hearing his voice before i go to sleep, not feeling him next to me even

[digdug]

i hope u do go out and do something for urself...dont get drunk tho...drinking wen feeling this emotional is neva a gud thing.

 

i dont know where u r but where i am its now 2.15am so i better go to bed....this is always the hardest part...not being able to say gudnite to him, not hearing his voice before i go to sleep, not feeling him next to me even

 

Not going out ... I've had enough for one evening. How about a good night from me? Sleep well, and know you have friends out here. It seems weird, but having things in common can bring us all comfort. Go to bed, smile to yourself, and know you are not alone. Get some sleep, you deserve it. You deserve happiness

[In The Cold]

digdug - your truly an inspiration! Knowing that you have the strength to get through this and help raise two little ones at the same time is amazing. That is the type of courage that I aspire to one day have. I'm sure the smiles on their faces when they see their dad is the greatest motivation you could ask for.

[digdug]

digdug - your truly an inspiration! Knowing that you have the strength to get through this and help raise two little ones at the same time is amazing. That is the type of courage that I aspire to one day have. I'm sure the smiles on their faces when they see their dad is the greatest motivation you could ask for.

 

WOW, thank you!!! Honestly though, it's just about love and priorities. You do have that courage. Reaching out here is proof positive. Courage comes with the ability to ask for help and guidance when you need it. I made my GF my priority, instead of finishing my previous marriage. I didn't make myself a priority, and that in turn trashed everything else. I won't make that mistake again. Me, my boys, and my business. That's all it's about nowadays. Their smiles are what keep me going.

[feellikeafool]

Not going out ... I've had enough for one evening. How about a good night from me? Sleep well, and know you have friends out here. It seems weird, but having things in common can bring us all comfort. Go to bed, smile to yourself, and know you are not alone. Get some sleep, you deserve it. You deserve happiness

 

hey dig....sleep didnt come to easy last night...and i was feeling a little low but then came on here and read the msg u left last night and it all seems a little beta...i agree with in the cold u really are a pillar of strength and in a place so many ppl wud want to be themselves

[feellikeafool]

digdug - your truly an inspiration! Knowing that you have the strength to get through this and help raise two little ones at the same time is amazing. That is the type of courage that I aspire to one day have. I'm sure the smiles on their faces when they see their dad is the greatest motivation you could ask for.

 

absolutely brilliant...i couldnt have put it beta myself

[digdug]

Hi ! I didn't sleep great either, oh well ...

 

I don't want to fool anyone, I still hurt and this is really hard. I'm just trying to stay positive ... push myself to be positive, and I know good things will happen. In the past few days I have reached out to friends to help me. People I alienated during my marriage, and then when I found my GF (who then took the brunt of my unhappiness). It feels so good to be talking to some of them again and meeting new friends. It's amazing how true friends are always there, no matter if you alienated them or not. They've all been so wonderful and understanding.

 

So, through my friends in real life and my new cyber friends here, I do feel good, strong, and ready to tackle each day. I'm thankful I found this site, as I can't wait to get on to see how everyone is doing. It's great therapy for me.

 

Thank you Feel .... you made my day

 

How is your day going??

[feellikeafool]

hey dig i think sleep will come eventually....day started off a bit rough...woke up with him being the 1st thought and cudnt shake thinking about him...i've not had the urge to call him tho and i have no idea where in the house my fone is...yay me...i still miss him terribly but have realised and accepted that we are not compatible and both have a lot of work to do individually to improve ourselves...i think acceptance plays a huge part in a BU...i read posts on here and see ppl that have hope wen they should just let go an heal...but its difficult to do

 

i think if it wasnt for this sites and talking and pulling strength from u guys i wud be in a pretty bad place right now and having no experience in this i probably wud be doing the whole begging crying thing...im so grateful to have found this site and especially u and north...u both have been a great inspiration and source of strength for me...i hope we all keep in touch and can look back and laugh

[digdug]

It's ok to miss him. I miss my GF constantly. For me, I am simply more disappointed in myself. I should have known I had too much on my plate and shouldn't be getting into another relationship. But, it provided comfort for me, the wrong kind, and allowed me to internalize everything, then take it out on her by just being blah ... not the normal me. I hate the feeling that I let her down, when she was so willing to give herself to me. She wanted to do so so badly that she continued to try, even when she realized she no longer loved me. It hurts me, to know I hurt her. She trusted me, and I let her down in every way. My hope is that she can gleam some good from our relationship. I'd truly love to have her friendship at the least.

 

It is my pleasure to be able to talk to you and help you out in any way I can. It helps me too!! Please feel free to email me or IM (although I don't know how to do that yet either) whenever you're feeling desperately alone. I know if sucks.

 

I plan to keep in touch. I don't know how one could have such wonderful people to enter their lives and help them through a life altering period, without looking back upon all of them with fondness.