Going out with a mother of two.

[bob333]

Hi,

I have recently started going out with a mum of two, who i really like.

I also adore her children, its stirred funny feelings of fatherhood I never knew I had.

I've not had much experience of children or dating mothers of children.

I only see her at the weekend at the moment, but I text and call occassionally during the week, I'm sure she has enough on her plate let alone having me to respond and try and keep me happy.

I have been coming at the relationship from a single persons perspective regarding sex, but obviously there are other people in this relationshsip - her children, so I've tried to be as sensitive as I can to that. I try to be as helpfull as I can around the house, but obviously I'm not the dad nor am I the husband so I feel limited in what I can do.

Normally in the first few months of a relationship there is quite a bit of lust, and kinky texts from me have always been welcomed and recriprocated by a new GF - sometimes they've been quite direct - but they just come right back at me, but with this lady that is not the case, she seems at best embarrissed, at worst horrified I am sending them (I've only sent 2 or 3).After she's rebuffed me I feel embarrased and awkward, so have decided .... no more. Seems a shame we cant flirt like that, but its not a big deal if we cant. I'm trying to be mature and just take things one step at a time, finding each other boundaries, likes and dislikes.

Our sex life is good - she's all normal in that dept. - and in fact loves sex and is quite assertive in bed, when she has then energy, which I understand she is always tired ... she is run ragged sometimes by her children.

Obviously I am learning something new about a very different relationship to what I've been used to.

I am guessing that a womans head might change once she has children - she's often irritable and tetchy - until she calms down and we cuddle on the couch, she's always tired, and I know I am not a priority, and its not a big deal, I just find it curious how she can be a right minx in bed with all the energy when we get down to it, but a bit of a prude when I text her ... say on her lunch hour at work, normally it would invoke a flurry of sexually charged exchanges, which is nice, its something intimate you can share, but she just seems to not be interested.

I've put this thread in this forum to hopefully get a mothers perspective.

[DN]

From what you have described, I don't think she is ready for any sort of serious relationship. I think you should disengage and look for someone who can make you a priority.

[bob333]

Well, your totally right, she dumped me by text this morning.

Shame I thought we got on quite well.

When we were having sex one night she asked me what did we want to do, lots of ' * * * * ing' or have a relationship ... and trying to say the right thing I said 'a relationship', which of course is nicer and I did want ... guess it frightened her away.

[DN]

Sorry that happened but I think you probably dodged a bullet there.

[anya1607307555]

A bit late for this relationship, it seems but...how direct were they? Perhaps she would have preferred subtle, romantic ones to build anticipation.

 

Even if a person enjoys exchanging sexually flirtatious texts, there is always the risk of the recipient not being in the same 'head space' at that given moment. In person it's different for obvious reasons. So I think you have to know a person really well before you can rely on texts being received in the way you sent them.

[bob333]

DN, thanks, feel bit sad, she always seemed so cross - with her children, I think she kept a lid on it most of the time when I was around, so guess I would have to deal with that at some point, and which wasn't of my making.

 

But hey its Saturday night and party to go to ... so bit of cognitive therapy as they say.

 

Anya, maybe your right, I'd only dated her a month, although I think in that time you should know someone well enough, but as you say her 'head space' was obviously somewhere else. In person, she talked very dirty, personally I cant see the difference, maybe its something to do with the spoken word vs the 'text', each to our own though.