lord voldemort Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 Hello everyone, I had a breakup about 9 months ago.The girl decided on it. few months after breakup, she got engaged with her brother only. also she was never able to give any solid reason for breakup. For 4 years we were in a relationship. After her this step, i feel very angry about her. Though i dn't miss her much now, but the anger which is there inside me for her betrayal does not let me move ahead or to be calm.I am not able to feel the comfort inside myself.Her betrayal constantly keeps coming in front of me. what i should i do to take out that anger? Should i mail her n take out my anger?.. In no case, i wnt to see her face or hear her voice... what i should do? Link to comment
Danny77 Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 What? She got engaged with her brother? I'm confused. So you're angry right? How do you take it out... Why does taking your anger out have to involve her? Just hit a punchbag for a while. Don't send her a letter if all you've got to say are bad things coz you'll come off looking stupid in the end. Just calm it down and deal with it slowly. Link to comment
He2Him Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 Focus on yourself and only yourself. And the issue will be solved. Why is she worth more than you are to yourself? Why does she occupy your mind at all? You don't need to know answers and reasons why people do what they do, cuz even if you have them it'll fix nothing. Because what's the difference if she left you because she fell in love with someone else, or that just had enough of you or b/c she's on drugs. Knowing reasons is useless, because there's nothing you gonna do about it. And even if you do, nobody's gonna appreciate you for it. So start appreciating yourself again instead. Forgive her. Realize that she's the person that she is, with all her mistakes and confusing behavior, stop waiting for others to live up to your own expectations. Just forgive everyone for not being as great as you would want them to be and keep the focus on yourself. Link to comment
In the Dark Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 Voldemort, I would not send her a letter. Waste of time and validates nothing for you. For all you knopw she could be laughing at it, or simply throw it in the bin. You don't klnow exactly what she will do with it. You will need to find ways to deal with the anger. Just remember the anger you have is from what she did and no one else. So the anger you have should only be towards her and not the next woman who comes into your life when that happens. she got engaged with her brother only Yes care to elaborate on this? Link to comment
lord voldemort Posted September 23, 2011 Author Share Posted September 23, 2011 Voldemort, I would not send her a letter. Waste of time and validates nothing for you. For all you knopw she could be laughing at it, or simply throw it in the bin. You don't klnow exactly what she will do with it. You will need to find ways to deal with the anger. Just remember the anger you have is from what she did and no one else. So the anger you have should only be towards her and not the next woman who comes into your life when that happens. Yes care to elaborate on this? The reason that i feel very angry is that she lied to me all the time.I made so many sacrifices for her.and all she did was she got hooked up with her brother only. Her brother was just 3 years older than her and even i don't know that how anyone can marry her brother!!... her brother constantly kept telling bad things about me.Break ups are not uncommon. But i feel very angry is because she spoild 4 years of my life.if she wanted to marry her brother,then why she played with my life??... and you are right that i don't want to show my anger for other girl coming in my life. So i want to take out my anger on her.What would happen if i just mail her and taking out my anger?.. i fought with my family for her.. and this is what i get in end...!!... she crushd my confidence and belief... Link to comment
lord voldemort Posted September 23, 2011 Author Share Posted September 23, 2011 What? She got engaged with her brother? I'm confused. So you're angry right? How do you take it out... Why does taking your anger out have to involve her? Just hit a punchbag for a while. Don't send her a letter if all you've got to say are bad things coz you'll come off looking stupid in the end. Just calm it down and deal with it slowly. even i got confused rather shocked on learning that she hooked up with her brother only. I fought with my friends, my family for her... This is what i get in end??... i tried many ways to take out my anger but failed everytime..so thought that mailing her might make me calm.. this was suggested by 1 of my friend only... Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 she did was she got hooked up with her brother only. Her brother was just 3 years older than her and even i don't know that how anyone can marry her brother!!.. As far as I'm aware, this is incest and marrying her brother would be against the law? Unless it's a different culture where this is common? I don't think sending her an angry email will make any difference to her, other than maybe giving you some relief by having a good vent. Link to comment
lord voldemort Posted September 23, 2011 Author Share Posted September 23, 2011 As far as I'm aware, this is incest and marrying her brother would be against the law? Unless it's a different culture where this is common? I don't think sending her an angry email will make any difference to her, other than maybe giving you some relief by having a good vent. well it is very very very uncommon in our culture also. but it is not against the law.anyways those things don't matter to me now.somehow i am feeling that i would feel good when she would be having the guilt.i know it is wrong but that creepy feeling has made home inside me... Link to comment
SelinaSmile Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 Feel free to write the letter, just do not send it. Burn it or something. Getting it out will make you feel better, just do NOT send it. Link to comment
BlueAngle Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 omg this is so odd. Why do you marry your own brother? How is this possible? I feel that she has a problem psychological and u should move on. Take the 4 years as a huge lesson in your life. Do u want to have her back? She hooked up with her brother..ew Link to comment
Sanity Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 By brother... do you mean real brother. Blood related brother? Because in my culture we sometimes have sisters and brothers in a friend-way. Link to comment
jjcool00 Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 WOW... just when you think you've seen/read it all. Holy baby jesus on a tricycle. RUN, just because it isn't against the law in whatever country you are in doesn't make it acceptable. Seriously you should be glad this happened it opens the door for you to find someone decent, better, with some standards and an appropriate outlook on their future. This would be off limits no matter what attemps at reconciliation she makes in the future. Steer clear. Link to comment
sunnyhappydays Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 Why are you angry at her? You should feel sorry for her. She is likely a victim of rape and abuse from multiple family members, never mind her brother. She's probably been passed around her uncles etc as well. It's like if she "decided" to marry her father. BS. A culture which allows incest is probably very oppressive of women. I can't imagine she has much say in anything she does. Link to comment
C_Unknown2005 Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 .................? Link to comment
journeynow Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 Advice that was given to me and I found helpful is to write a list of things to do when angry, and then choose something from the list when needed. I don' t know if my activities would help you, but mine included splitting wood, shoveling dirt, sawing branches, burning brush because I found being active and outdoors helped. Walking, swimming, canoeing all helped give relief from difficult feelings. Nothing was a cure-all, but helped move me past difficult. Another thing that helped me was keeping a "fake" journal. In it I journaled from the self I imagined to be in the future, from the state of mind I aimed to be in once through with the break up, using collage instead of words. You could do this imagining the things you would enjoy doing in the future, things that will bring you joy. It's future and healing oriented, and can be helpful in shifting into a calmer state of mind. Link to comment
lord voldemort Posted September 24, 2011 Author Share Posted September 24, 2011 Why are you angry at her? You should feel sorry for her. She is likely a victim of rape and abuse from multiple family members, never mind her brother. She's probably been passed around her uncles etc as well. It's like if she "decided" to marry her father. BS. A culture which allows incest is probably very oppressive of women. I can't imagine she has much say in anything she does. well she is not at all victim of rape or abuse from family members.Rather marrying brother is highly unusal in our culture also.so her family members actually opposed. She earns a very good salary and has a big fat ego.No way something opressive has happen. i know the truth. i knew that she liked her brother but i always thoght that it was in brotherly manner.... and 4 years of relationship, she did such... so i feel very angry... Link to comment
lord voldemort Posted September 24, 2011 Author Share Posted September 24, 2011 WOW... just when you think you've seen/read it all. Holy baby jesus on a tricycle. RUN, just because it isn't against the law in whatever country you are in doesn't make it acceptable. Seriously you should be glad this happened it opens the door for you to find someone decent, better, with some standards and an appropriate outlook on their future. This would be off limits no matter what attemps at reconciliation she makes in the future. Steer clear. yeah i have no plans to be together with her again..!!... but she played badly with my life and emtions and still has no guilt.. i badly feel that she should be suffering from guilt..probably that would release me from the chains of anguish... Link to comment
lord voldemort Posted September 24, 2011 Author Share Posted September 24, 2011 By brother... do you mean real brother. Blood related brother? Because in my culture we sometimes have sisters and brothers in a friend-way. by brother i mean real cousin... and in our culture it is very very unusual to marry your cousin..because he is just like real brother..!! Link to comment
lord voldemort Posted September 24, 2011 Author Share Posted September 24, 2011 As far as I'm aware, this is incest and marrying her brother would be against the law? Unless it's a different culture where this is common? I don't think sending her an angry email will make any difference to her, other than maybe giving you some relief by having a good vent. In our culture also this is very uncommon... also i definitely need to vent out my anguish.. why others should suffer because of her sin??... i want to make difference to her.. what should i do? Link to comment
lord voldemort Posted September 24, 2011 Author Share Posted September 24, 2011 omg this is so odd. Why do you marry your own brother? How is this possible? I feel that she has a problem psychological and u should move on. Take the 4 years as a huge lesson in your life. Do u want to have her back? She hooked up with her brother..ew i definitely don't want her back in my life... but she has broke my confidence.. i try very hard to be normal but anguish inside me doesn't let me live... i too had such reaction when i came to know about her deed.. Link to comment
Danny77 Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 So I think you need to expell that anger from within. It's a demon that if you hold on to will eat you alive. Try to find a way to push it out without letting it hurt others. As for her, she has made a decision, a bad decision in my opinion but you have to sit back and let her learn from what she has done. I'm sorry to hear this story but now that the facts have come out I think you are just a spectator to this whole incident. Don't let the anger consume you. Link to comment
jjbinks Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 In another universe we are together And we make it , just wish it was this one Link to comment
lord voldemort Posted September 28, 2011 Author Share Posted September 28, 2011 So I think you need to expell that anger from within. It's a demon that if you hold on to will eat you alive. Try to find a way to push it out without letting it hurt others. As for her, she has made a decision, a bad decision in my opinion but you have to sit back and let her learn from what she has done. I'm sorry to hear this story but now that the facts have come out I think you are just a spectator to this whole incident. Don't let the anger consume you. yes you are right..anger is the demon inside me which is consuming me rapidly.. Also somehow i feel the need to make her suffer for her deed.. i don't know whether it is right or not..but now i have such feeling.. Link to comment
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