Crazyaboutdogs Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Yes...people who claim they are tired of being in relationships and want to live the single life are really saying they want out of THIS relationship so that they can find another relationship. This guy has been in relationships since he was 17..there was a reason for that..he doesn't want to be alone. It sounds like he jumped from one to the next without any alone time in between. If that is his pattern, chances are he will bang a few women just to feel "single again" (because, of course, we all know that the ONLY definition of living the single life is in regards to dating...LOL)...and then he will feel lonely and will find someone to have a relationship with..even for a few months, while abroad. Let this guy go. He wants the freedom to find someone else. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Surely the more important thing is to give changeacomin advice about how to move on without bitterness and rancour for those emotions will not serve her. changeacomin - I think you should look to your chosen user name for inspiration and make the change that is coming a good one - your future is in your hands. I agree she needs to move on, but she is blaming the demise of the relationship on her neediness. I too, agree that this man could have used more tact after a long-term relationship. I would never have written those things to a partner, I would have done my best to spare them any additional pain. Link to comment
DN Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 chances are he will bang a few women just to feel "single again" (because, of course, we all know that the ONLY definition of living the single life is in regards to dating...LOL)...'Bang a few women'. Jeez. Link to comment
doiiiieeezie Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Yes...people who claim they are tired of being in relationships and want to live the single life are really saying they want out of THIS relationship so that they can find another relationship. This guy has been in relationships since he was 17..there was a reason for that..he doesn't want to be alone. It sounds like he jumped from one to the next without any alone time in between. If that is his pattern, chances are he will bang a few women just to feel "single again" (because, of course, we all know that the ONLY definition of living the single life is in regards to dating...LOL)...and then he will feel lonely and will find someone to have a relationship with..even for a few months, while abroad. Let this guy go. He wants the freedom to find someone else. LOL you have a way with words... albeit, this is probably true Link to comment
changeacomin Posted September 23, 2011 Author Share Posted September 23, 2011 Thanks for all your comments. I must admit I did feel a bit " blamed" as some of you have suggested. It was this bit of his email, regarding his wanting to be unfaithful: "I didn't do anything because of you" If he'd used the word "us" it would have felt completely different. I guess at that point in his head there WAS no "us". Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 Thanks for all your comments. I must admit I did feel a bit " blamed" as some of you have suggested. It was this bit of his email, regarding his wanting to be unfaithful: "I didn't do anything because of you" If he'd used the word "us" it would have felt completely different. I guess at that point in his head there WAS no "us". Yes. I also think that he mentioned this other woman not so much for the spirit of honesty, but because he was trying to portray himself as a noble guy. Link to comment
DN Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 Lesson learned then - when you break up with someone make sure you lie or be brutally brief. Don't attempt to explain anything, give a rationale or the famous 'closure; that people claim they want. Because if you are honest and try to explain, people will tear you to pieces anyway and accuse you of anything that springs to mind. You can't win so you may as well break it off by text i.e. "You're dumped". And then refuse to say anything else. Link to comment
changeacomin Posted September 23, 2011 Author Share Posted September 23, 2011 DN - I'm with you on this. I'm glad he told me the truth and I don't have a problem with the way it was told to me either. And as I said at the beginning of this thread - I even understand why he's doing it. As for blame? Blaming never solved anything. I'll acknowledge my part in what happened as he must acknowledge his. Nobody is really to blame. Link to comment
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