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Does this indicate she is flirting a little (from a few texts.)?


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After nearing blowing it (in my last thread) with a lame attempt at humor with a girl Im slightly interested in, I think I pulled things back on track.


(For those not knowing, I have been working out with a girl in a club of sorts and feel like there might be something, I have been engaging with her

for roughly a month.)


So after my apologetic text, her response was "Ha ha, thanks! I guess I'm used to good [sport we play] being serious. Lol have a great weekend and thanks for all the help the past few weeks!"


She had a competition and did well over the weekend so I sent her a message saying "nice job! couldnt tell if you were being sarcastic or serious lol but after years of being "serious", i realized it doesnt work for me with [sport we play], im much better in a comedic/laizze faire attitude. to each their own lol. I'll be around for your next training phase but in the meantime, enjoy your next 2 weeks off drinking binge jk!


She txted immediately responding " no, i like the comedy relief, believe me." a 2nd text after that said "and i really really appreciate you training with me." 3rd text said "how is your trip been going?" (i was out of town briefly.)


I responded briefly mentioning I dont mind training with you for a while and went on to say I was still on my trip and what I was doing, also asking

if anything newsworthy happened on her trip.


She said "a lot news worthy actually! met the [semi celebrities in our sport] walking back from dinner. ill have to tell you about it. so cool."


to wrap it up, i responded with "oh cool, ive read [celebrities'] blog and knew he was going for something great. i will want a book report, powerpoint presentaion and works cited when you tell me all about it."


Its hard to tell her interest level on these texts but at the very least she is friendly with me. Just having a hard time wonderiing if i am on the friends ladder or not. She seems quite playful flirty with a few other guys on her FB wall too, so who knows.

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Hello, AloneinTexas. My impression is that this girl is not interested in you, at least, not romantically speaking. She does not seem to be pursuing you avidly or inviting you to pursue her. She does contact you but not with the certain keenness usually present in a person who harbors romantic or sexual designs on another.


She strikes me as a nice enough girl, and her expressed appreciation for your “training” seems to be a consequence of that aspect of her personality, nothing more – or less, for that matter. If she were interested in you beyond being contentedly acquainted, however, I believe she would offer to move the association out of the club, as well, or hint for you to do so, i.e.: “I appreciate your training me – can I buy you a cup of coffee or something sometime to say thank you?” or “I like chatting with you in the club, but it would be nice to see you outside of it, too” or something along those lines.


Either way, whether or not this girl cares to be your friend or seeks more with you, my advice to you is this – mind your self-assessed sense of humor. In this, less is by far more. Do not beat her over the head with ‘lol’s and ‘jk’s – in one of the texts you shared, you had two ‘lol’s and a ‘jk’ in a single brief message. I would strongly caution you not to continuously refer to your sense of humor either directly or indirectly. If she fancies you, she will think you are humorous without your having to point it out to her, and if she does not, such constant horn blowing is likely to greatly irritate her and give her cause to curtail even strictly platonic, friendly overtures at the club.


I would further suggest you not try so hard to be what you consider funny in every message or exchange you have with this girl. Of course, charm and wit is appealing, but as with all things, balance is key. If you are endlessly attempting to be “on” and joking, even if lightly to your way of thinking, about every interaction, this act will in all probability shortly wear thin and become grating instead. Even the single most hilarious person in the universe needs to give the bits a rest from time to time, and simply carry on a conversation, make a connection, inquiring about the other person, sharing subtle, sincere thoughts and information, without incessantly angling for a laugh.


If she likes you, as a friend, or even more, you should see some surer signs of this in her behavior or in her reception of yours, but she will never have the chance to get to know you if you are too busy trying to be funny, soliciting her agreement that you are funny, and/or telling her how funny you are/were/have been to just be yourself.


In our society of we-are-all-special-snowflakes-each-with-our-own-unique-gift-to-the-world, it can be difficult for some people who are less confident, less socially competent to simply relax and interact without affectation, but to refuse to do so may make people fail to perceive you as you truly are. For instance, if you are not conventionally handsome, say (and I have no idea if you are or if you are not, this is but an example), you might attempt then to be the “funny guy,” believing, incorrectly, that if you were not graced with one inherent quality, then surely you have another (this is not to say you are not funny. Perhaps you are, but despite what the after-school specials would have everyone believe, just because you do not have one attribute does not automatically bless you with another, equally incredible characteristic). You may wind up unintentionally browbeating your peers to acknowledge just how uproarious you are, when you would stand a better shot if you brought it down a notch, and simply were your authentic self, rather than relentlessly demonstrating this sense of humor of yours, justifiably comical or not.


In no way am I trying to be unkind – this is purely my advice to you to aid you in your pursuit of this particular girl or whomever may catch your eye after her. Again, I am not saying that there is no conceivable way you are not funny, only that if you are, a little goes a long way and you will not do yourself any favors pointing it out again and again.


There is a fellow I know who, because of a medical condition he has, possibly, or simply because that is how his personality would have evolved, no matter what his body had done to bolster or betray him, is fairly socially awkward and stunted. He is an okay person – not evil, not a heart of gold, very average. Because of his disability, he has gotten it into his head, rightly or wrongly, that he will not be considered physically attractive, and so instead has worked rigorously, but unfortunately, to no real avail on cultivating his sense of humor. Occasionally, he can be entertaining, to be sure, but more often or not, the laughs he gets are far overshadowed by how desperately he is trying for them.


I feel sorry for this fellow, not because of his medical condition, or if so, indirectly, but because of his obvious loneliness and desolation. Yet, he makes it difficult to be around him because of his constant comedy act – and if one makes the mistake of encouraging him with a polite chuckle, he pounces upon it and makes this, too, more than it is, declaring with relish how he loves to make people laugh, at least he always has that – and then his social ineptness is excruciating because most of the time, he doesn’t, and how can this be explained to him when he refuses to see it without then being cruel?


If I have read your approach wrong, or if you find that, in your case, you really are as funny as you think you are, then, by all means, work with what best suits you. But my best advice is to give this girl a break from the hilarity and, being as true to yourself as you possibly can, share some quiet time and experiences with her, preferably away from the club so you can determine if you have more than one interest in common – perhaps even ask her out, if you feel bold, and then you will have your answer.


Good luck.



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Wow! What a response Wager. I resonated with a lot of what you wrote. I will (and did) take into account further LOLs and JK's.


This afternoon, I worked out with her friend. I forgot a necessary piece of equipment for working out but got thru it anyways. It was kinda funny though, nonetheless.


It has been 72 hours since last txting the girl in my interest, so I decided to text her. Tried to keep it light, quick, and non-LOLing. I said "Hey, I have 2 q's. You know anyone in your network needing a last minute fill in for the competition this weekend? and ran with (her friend) today, we might workout Sunday, care to join?


She replied "2 q's?"


I responded "Questions!"


She then said back "Im thinking but I dont know of anyone. Ill let you know tho. I heard, howd the hiking boots and polo shirt work out? you starting a new trend? and I prob wont be awake when you guys workout Sun. Hopefully celebrating with everyone after the {competition}. want to join? fun people.


I wrote back "thats one thing thatll never change: girls like to talk! shoes were comfy (i wore the wrong shoes) as well as polo shirt. cant

remember everything right? ya and i do enjoy nitelife and lager, i can arrange to join!


2 hours later, she replied : "your such a trooper {my name}! lol, ill let you know what we are doing after the competition."


Good news is i kept out any hints of laughing. Bad news is I still get that friendly vibe. Am I probably correct? Or do you think her invite was

significant of her interest. (Though she could be inviting me as well as a bunch of other, so probably no "extra" interest for me.)

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