AvonRepus Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 My relationship with my husband was very exhausting,maybe passionate,very demanding. We had certain problems from the beginning so I was used to be the bigger and more responsible person. I put a lot of efforts,money,nerves,etc.. I have shared in my previous posts that my husband is a drug-addict,somewhat thief and ..pathological liar. At the end of our marriage he started cheating on me so I put an end on it. I tried to pull contact but for numerous reasons he broke it several times. The last couple weeks he tried to pull "I miss you " ,"I am coming with you " and all that crap. Spent a couple times together,meanwhile I got another evidence of his infidelities so I kept my guard up ...anyway long story short- the day he was supposed to spend with me he was with his new (brand new new ) girlfriend . So another betrayal while he is asking for another chance. Later on I found out that he keeps taking drugs and maybe there's a fourth person involved,he was a complete stranger . In the beginning his parents were supporting me,later on he turned his mom against me-in a very ugly way because I am sure she cared for me deeply . He just did pure emotional blackmail... I heard a lot of bad things about myself ,the other part of his family don't trust him at all,they still try to get a hold of me saying "we know how he is and we are ashamed"...but I can't bare the thought that at the end- I will be trashtalked and end up the real fool. He's been telling his friends ( the ones that he still has,people don't trust him) that I didn't stop * * * * * ing and was jealous (yeah after I got cheated on ten times,I got jealous huh),took my clothes and never gave it back,took all of our furnitures and my money,got physical couple times...so finally I couldn't deal with his bs and packed my things and left the country . He's from US and I am from Europe. I am very confused honestly,I've been thinking a lot about him,not in the good way -but I am restless and can barely sleep at night. And I came to the conclusion that ...well I need revenge. I feel humiliated in every possible way,I feel ashamed that I let him do this to me and couldn't put up a fight. I did try in the beginning but he acted like a beast. Hurtful words,mean actions...and I didn't have a good support system so I kinda gave up . I feel like I am not going to get closure...ever....And I need it so I can move on and maybe someday I will think that what he did is not a statement about myself . But right now I feel like a piece of * * * * and I can't believe that "my other half" made me feel like this...People tell me that I was too nice,that I should of fight back and be as mean as he was,that I should try and hurt him...But I was afraid,afraid that he will break my heart again (I had no idea you can get your heart broken so many times) , afraid that I will mess up my karma even worse... Should I seek revenge,it is pathetic but it seems to me that after 4 months of struggling to keep my sanity and tons of * * * * he threw in my face...I deserve it. I even slept in the library like a homeless person after he took all of my money and still I was taking care of our pets and bills... I don't know how I end up like this,honestly I don't. I left Us and I left him,blocked him even though he's too afraid to seek contact of any kind. I don't want to hear a thing about him and if it's up to me he'd better be dead... I guess I am still in my angry stage but I don't know how to resolve my issues? Should I fight back? Link to comment
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