Something seem fishy

[Epic11]

I met a guy online we started talking in April..We had our first date September 5..the date went well..we did kiss..he is an EMT he seemed like the right guy but now I'm starting to think the opposite, he is now working with an female that he was working with previously..he told me him and the woman hangout sometimes..he claim the woman is married with 2 children..He is 22 years old and the partner is 38 (if there is anything going on with them it's VERY SICK)

 

anyway long story short him and I been having an facebook issue i been trying to add him for awhile now but it's like he kept coming up with an excuse everytime...first he said Facebook is considering his friend requests as spam and then there's a problem with his privacy settings only friends of friends can add him he said he is friends w/ the cleveland browns and said add them..so I sent a request to the Cleveland browns they accepted and then I was able to send the guy a friend request..then he kept claiming he never got it..then he finally accepted it and like 5 minutes later I was deleted and he said it was an Facebook glitch that deleted me..that sounds clearly impossible once you add someone that person is there on your friend list until you delete them..i got the notification he accepted me and i told him that today and he said "I DIDN'T ACCEPT AND DELETE YOU!! There you go inplying that I'm lying again!"

 

 

we got into argument I told him I don't believe him and he is lying and then he said " I was VERY turned on by you, but you kept insisting I was a liar with something to hide. That is a HUGE turn off. I liked you allot,well my 38 year old partner suddenly became hot I never would've felt this way about her had you only trusted me" * * * and then he said he only said that to piss me off..and then he said he don't understand why we have to be friends on Facebook..he is friends with one of his ex girlfriends and his partner..but won't add me, SO i think something is fishy and he is hiding something..then he had the nerve to say " what do you want me or my Facebook profile?"

 

 

whenever people are talking and talking about getting in a relationship Facebook is always mentioned..how can him and I both have Facebook and we're not friends on here?! Something is fishy I would like some opinions. Also since he been working back with his partner he don't call me anymore,he used to call EVERYDAY, we had this argument through email..

[annie24]

something is fishy, alright! i don't know if he is involved with her, or another woman or what, but it's totally suspicious and you should drop him like a hot potato!!

[SpottiOtti]

I'm sorry, I'm not on Facebook so do not know what a reasonable amount of time would be for this sort of thing.

 

Less than a month of dating seems a little fast, to me, to be demanding that he adds you, but IDK what you crazy kids are doing these days.

[Lithp]

I think I recall your other threads - the one about the guy who had to change his shirt because he got blood on it and you thought he was lying about that as well... To be honest, I don't know how to take it. On one hand you seem to definitely have trust issues because you suspect every slight thing. It sounds slightly fishy that he is so against adding you on Facebook, but really it's Facebook for goodness sakes... People take that stuff way too seriously.

 

If you accuse him of lying often, or act suspicious of him, he may resent you for that and not want to comply with your every trust issue. You guys have been dating for less than a month, that is hardly enough time to truly get comfortable with each other and start setting boundaries. I would either try to lighten up or move on to someone else because if you're that panicked over Facebook I don't see this going much further.

 

Edit to add - by 'setting boundaries' I mean telling him what he should or should not be doing, as in needing him to add you on Facebook otherwise something's up. Or dictating whether he should be friendly with his partner at work.

[elcie]

These days, everyone and their dog gets put on as a facebook friend, so if he's not wanting to add you, it's very, very, VERY suspicious!!!!

 

You aren't too involved yet so step away quickly before you get burnt.

[Mauxly]

Drama in the first month? You don't trust him, and then he blames his attraction to another woman on you? Run for your life...seriously, you guys are in the getting to know you phase...and he's certainly letting you know exactly who he is.

 

This will continue to go downhill from here. The only question is how long you'll be willing to ride along.

[Lithp]

These days, everyone and their dog gets put on as a facebook friend, so if he's not wanting to add you, it's very, very, VERY suspicious!!!!

 

You aren't too involved yet so step away quickly before you get burnt.

 

Yeah, but there are some people who don't see a need for it. My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year and only just added each other about a month ago. We still haven't changed our relationship statuses. Is that indicative of a relationship in trouble? I don't think so - it's social media, that is all. I know plenty of people who hardly sign into their accounts, and even just to avoid the hassle of adding others, they'll just go ahead and say 'No, I don't have Facebook, I'm sorry' when asked.

 

They haven't been dating a month. It's Facebook. I honestly don't see the issue here, other than her obvious insecurities, and if she's going to push it and make a thing of it I would think that would make him not want to add her even more.

[RedDress]

Definitely fishy. Instead of all the "add the cleveland browns", "your request got lost", "there was a glitch"... if he really want to have you as a friend - why didn't HE add YOU?

 

I agree that he may simply be uncomfortable adding you so soon - and in my books, that is perfectly reasonable. The issue, though, is that rather than say "I'm not comfortable adding you so soon" - he's coming up with all sorts of excuses and lies.

 

Communication is key in a relationship. This dude is not communicating - he's dodging. That's crazy-making behaviour and not good relationship material, IMO.