Would NC work in this situation?

[Voguester]

I'm in a LDR with my boyfriend of 3 years at the moment and I don't know what to do because I feel like I'm being used and what he wants is unreasonable.

 

Up to about a month ago he and I would talk every night for 3 - 4 hours sometimes, hes recently put his foot down and said that he is not able to be online as much anymore and we would have to mainly just send emails/ offline messaes but we could talk whenever he has time which could be like once a week. This is so hard for me to adjust to and I get really lonely sometimes, he revealed to me the other day that there's something going on in his life which he isn't comfortable talking to me about but it's nothing bad.

 

So I've been doing the offline messages thing, telling him how my day has been and that I'm thinking of him etc but he hasn't replied for a couple of days, this was actually his idea that we try to stay close by sending messages to each other all the time.

 

I feel like I really need to know the reason why he can't be around, I know he isn't really busy right now and is currently unemployed. I know him as a person really well but I don't know much about what goes on in his life and that bothers me. I'm moving to be with him next year in Jan maybe and if he doesn't want to share this stuff with me now then is he going to in the future?

 

I would really like to ask him what the reason is so I can understand it more, Do you think I can ask him?

[Lithp]

Yes I think you should ask exactly what the reason is, as it seems to be affecting your relationship. In a long distance relationship, communication is everything - you guys should be talking on the phone, skyping, texting, etc... as often as you can. He is cutting back on this crucial part of your relationship and not filling you in on why. Also, you guys have been together for 3 years? He certainly should be completely open with you, not pulling away and keeping things from you that could potentially be important. I would send him an e-mail explaining your stance on this - why it's important for you guys to have communication, why you guys need to be open, let him know how it's making you feel. After laying it all out for him I would not contact him, and I would express to him as well that you won't be contacting him until he can give you a good reason for what he's doing, and when he's ready to be as open and honest as he should be, he can get back to you. Otherwise I would just drop it and start distancing yourself - he isn't treating you like a girlfriend and he should know by now that he needs to step up in order to make things work, not pull away from you.

[OptomisticGirl]

You can ask but I doubt he will give you the real answer. Going from talking 3-4 hours every day to nice a week is a natural thing in a LDR, my fiancé and I don't talk as much as we did in the beginning. But he's employeed as well as me... I'm sorry but this just screams he has someone else.

[In the Dark]

I wish I could see this in a positive light but I can not.

I think he has grown tired of the LDR and is finding someone locally.

This is the problem with LDR for some people.

Some people think they can handle the lack of physical contact for a long time but they realize they can only cope with it for a limited time.

 

This may be the same thing with your bf.