bri427 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 When casually dating and gettin to know someone.... if a female does not want to have sex yet and makes it clear in a "non-prude" way. how do you HONESTLY take that? does it make you want to keep moving along or still engage interest in her?? Link to comment
AH1990 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Ahhh hard to say. Me personally, I'd respect her more. I'd definitely still engage interest in her because it shows the type of girl she is. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Indifferent. I'd respect her honesty and integrity in sticking to her values though, which would be a big plus. Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 You would respect her decision and deside to continue to casually date, be friends or move on. Link to comment
RedDress Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 if a female does not want to have sex yet and makes it clear in a "non-prude" way. how do you HONESTLY take that? What does "make it clear in a "non-prude" way" mean? Does that mean you are being a c*ck tease? There's a difference between saying no and saying no after bringing them to the edge... I know a lot of guys who would not be cool with that at all. Link to comment
SongCoyote Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 I'd have to say I'd react poorly to anyone who responded to your question with "meh, obviously a waste of time, move on". I like people who are able to set boundaries, respect mine, and renegotiate them as appropriate. This isn't to say I've reacted that maturely every time in the past, but it's certainly how I've come to approach relationships. I think that's called "growth", among other things Light and laughter, SongCoyote Link to comment
motley802 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Indifferent. I respect my girl's emotions and feelings. I want to give her all the space and time to decide physical intimacy. I never force my girl into anything. But some of my friends are particular about it. They want to know whether they will remain celibate until marriage or LTR is established. So please explain him clearly when do you think "no-sex" barrier is going to be removed. Link to comment
bri427 Posted September 21, 2011 Author Share Posted September 21, 2011 What does "make it clear in a "non-prude" way" mean? Does that mean you are being a c*ck tease? There's a difference between saying no and saying no after bringing them to the edge... I know a lot of guys who would not be cool with that at all. what i mean by this is....not leading them on sexually and having the intentions clear and direct. Link to comment
RedDress Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 what i mean by this is....not leading them on sexually and having the intentions clear and direct. Fair enough, then. IMO, all you can really do in life is state your boundaries (whatever they are). If they (anyone) can't respect you for stating your boundaries and find ways to respect them... well... I wouldn't want that person in my life anyways. That goes for any boundaries - not just sexual. But... that's my female perspective. Link to comment
moondog627 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 if a female does not want to have sex yet and makes it clear in a "non-prude" way. how do you HONESTLY take that? Depends. If the person I'm dating just needs more time (say a couple weeks or so) before having sex, fine. But if she's waiting till marriage... adios. Link to comment
aminaSa Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 If the guy is seriously interested he will respect you MORE if he just wants sex...he will go away(thats a good thing) Link to comment
mactownman Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 I find it attractive when a girl does not want to jump in the sack right away. Very attractive. It would raise my interest level and I will always continue to pursue in this situation. I am dating a girl right now and we have not had sex yet (not that I havnt tried!) because she wants to wait. I think it's great. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 While I appreciate her honesty, she quickly is moved into the prude category. Depending on my level of interest I will respond accordingly. Link to comment
johnnyp Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 If the guy is seriously interested he will respect you MORE if he just wants sex...he will go away(thats a good thing) ^^ This is 100% right! Link to comment
FathomFear Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 ^^ This is 100% right! Wanting sex is not "less respectful". I find the "I'd respect her more!" comments in this thread to be rather comical in that regard, as if somehow women who want sex earlier are somehow tainted or less respectful people. This is just a double-standard of which women are on the losing end. Link to comment
Stay_home Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 I'm usually not the first to start talking about sex. So I'm indifferent to the wait. Link to comment
johnnyp Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Wanting sex is not "less respectful". I find the "I'd respect her more!" comments in this thread to be rather comical in that regard, as if somehow women who want sex earlier are somehow tainted or less respectful people. This is just a double-standard of which women are on the losing end. In my experience the women I've dated and my friends have dated that have jumped into bed with a guy quickly have been the ones that have more often cheated and have had a complicated back-story of other guys that are still trying to get her to sleep with them again. Note that I said "in MY experience"...this of course won't always be the case. And as for it being a double-standard, welcome to the real world buddy. You think there aren't a million double-standards against us guys too? Sucks but hey...that's life Most women I know feel the same way and don't have much respect for their friends that jump into bed with guys over and over again on the first date. Each to their own I guess...if it works for them and gets them the quality of man and relationship they want, then that's all that matters. Again in my experience though, it doesn't! By holding off on sex in the early stages of dating, it gives the woman time to see what the guy's really after. As AminaSa said, if he wants more than just sex he'll stick around, if he doesn't he won't...how's that for easy quality-control? Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Wanting sex is not "less respectful". I find the "I'd respect her more!" comments in this thread to be rather comical in that regard, as if somehow women who want sex earlier are somehow tainted or less respectful people. This is just a double-standard of which women are on the losing end. I agree, I cannot see how respect is based upon when a woman wants to have sex. Link to comment
FathomFear Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 And as for it being a double-standard, welcome to the real world buddy. You think there aren't a million double-standards against us guys too? Sucks but hey...that's life Double-standards are bad regardless of who is victim. We shouldn't hold women to a different standard just because guys get the shaft in other areas. We need to be fighting against them all, not trying to justify one double-standard with another. Most women I know feel the same way and don't have much respect for their friends that jump into bed with guys over and over again on the first date. Sure, lots of women are programmed to think this way too. Gender expectations get drilled into all of us when we're young. They are not easy to overcome sometimes. Heck, I spent 10+ years in complete denial of my sexuality because of them. It's rough. That doesn't mean we shouldn't be actively trying to do away with the damaging ones, though. Link to comment
johnnyp Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 You're absolutely right, but some things are just part of who we are and attraction is often one of those things. A person can rationalise whether it's morally right or not, but if it doesn't press your buttons you can't convince yourself that it does. And there's no way I'd ever feel guilty for preferring a woman that's a challenge over a woman that's easy to get into bed, just like no woman should feel guilty for preferring a guy that's a challenge. Like I said though, whatever works for each person and gets them the happiness they want is all that matters. I was just saying that I've never met a woman that always sleeps with guys on the first date and is finding she is getting the quality of man she wants. Women are always going to get hit on on a daily basis and most of the guys they meet will only be after sex...if the woman wants more than just a one night stand, then holding off and figuring out the guys true intentions are essential. If she just wants sex though, then all power to her Link to comment
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