Getting used to be ing single again

[justagirl09]

My boyfriend and I of 6 months broke up a month ago, but were not in NC. It has only been NC for a week. Stupid I know, but I was having such a hard time letting go. I was only with him 6 months, but it felt like a year. I would see him 3-4 days a week-on average 3. I met his entire family, even extended family at a birthday party. Me and his mom were best friends, too. She always defended me.

 

He was just such a big part of my life that it is hard getting used to. He would text me/call me to say Good Morning, call me on my lunch break, and we would talk at least once a night if not more. Now it feels like a part of my life is missing. I feel like I need to fill a void.

 

I work out every night practically, but what other activities can I join to help? I dont have my son this weekend, so I am going to be alone. I have been going out with friends, but I really don't feel like going out and drinking and I am not ready to date either.

 

Any ideas??

[Mesemene]

Was there anything you used to do yourself that fell by the wayside when you were spending time with him?

 

I always advise a little self-pampering. For some, it could be sleeping in and curling up in PJs and bunny slippers with a good book. Others might like a new haircut, or a pedicure. It's whatever makes you feel good about yourself that you might do for a friend who's a bit at loose ends.

 

A lot of times when we get in the habit of doing those "little things" for someone special, we get out of the habit of doing them for ourselves - and it can be hard to remember just what we did in the time before!

[WindowTo]

The world is a big place with more interesting people to meet, things to discover, and places to go than we can try to even barely scratch the surface of in a life time. You won't need help with suggestions on how to start to feel comfortable with being single, alone, and even sometimes lonely if you are able to dive into the things that you are passionate about in life (that do not include doing boring and somewhat useless relationship nonsense). In fact one of my measures of whether I am ready to meet someone new after a breakup is being aware of the point where I am basically completely happy and occupied being single. If you need a relationships to be happy in life then it is just going to make that relationship under more pressure. Learn how to be happy and let a relationship something that just makes you happier. Got to be happy with yourself and your life first. Look to deep connections with friends, family, meeting new people to fill your social needs and keep your eyes open for opportunities for love, but make your goal feeling happy and self sufficient. Now you are free to do some big things, take a big trip, learn an instrument, plenty of books to read, check out local social sports groups in town, volunteer somewhere that has people your age around (great place to meet people and do something meaningful). Good luck

[sadchick83]

Seriously, if you have the cash - buy an iPad....this will keep you busy for about a month straight. It has been my saviour!

[symbiot]

Ditto the iPad! I'm on it now. F'n awesome! But! It doesn't matter how long you relationship was you can get deeply connected in a short amount of time. Grieve your lose.

[purrbaby]

I don't have an iPad, but my iPod Touch does keep me busy for hours on end It's also been about 5 weeks of NC for me/the end of my relationship and I have been spending a lot of time with my family, pets, friends. And also time by myself. I actually am enjoying that. Not having to answer to anyone about anything is quite refreshing. While I miss the relationship type things, I like NOT having to concentrate on someone else (aside from my kids, which is a given) but I can just focus on ME... and what is making ME happy. Even if it is only at that moment. Exercise is awesome, I go for a lot of walks. I've been reading a lot and I play computer games which keeps me quite occupied. I've gotten back into scrapbooking and crafting and forgot how much I love it. I didn't really have time for it while I was in a relationship I also echo the suggestion of self pampering. So far I've gotten new clothes, a new hair cut, a mani, a pedi, and a massage. It's awesome and makes me feel GREAT!

[sadchick83]

Yea purrbaby...I agree with the self pampering. When you first break up its like you almost have to force yourself to self pamper. You know when you are healed when you WANT to self pamper. The great thing about the IPAD, or MacBook Air (I bought that in April) is that they are your own little world. You can track your workouts, read newspapers, teach yourself to type.

 

I love Steve Jobbs!!