Advise please...

[Aloneagain10]

I broke NC and wrote an email to mi ex, askig her how she was, and if she and i could forget our differences and talk on msm sometimes, if not as friends as civil persons. Her maid/cousin wrote me back, telling me she is fed up with all of this, that she asked her to talk to me, and that its time for me to know what i did, and how she is feeling. What should I respond? should I see her? I think its just to put the blame on me and ask me not to contact her anymore.

 

This is a how we broke up

It was like this, we dated for 3 years, she travelled to Canada as landed inmigrant, she broke up with me 2 days latter, began to be very rude, demanded NC started to date someone else, told me he was much better, I told her parents about what happened and asked them to mediate as I lended her money and finish all pending matters, but she became more angry wrote to my colleges an email distorting the truth, and while I keep NC until yesterday.

 

Should I agree to talk to her maid/cousin, or its just pointless, please I need your advise, because I have hope and a reallity check from you would help me at least to save face.

Its a way to explore how i feel or its just a way to let her cousin do her dirty job?

[lukeb]

No what you should do is seek professional help. She made her intentions clear, that she wants to live her own life but the message is not getting through to you. You need to seek professional help for your inability to move on.

 

People break up all the time, as hard as it is after the break up they leave each other alone and let them live their lives. Some people are not able to do that, and you are one of them. What you are doing is morally and legally wrong, and it is a problem that you don't see that.

[Aloneagain10]

Hi lukeb, Thanks for your honest answer, I guess you're right. I shouldnt have contacted her anymore. I didnt try to get back together, only to forgive each other.

But youre right, its wrong.

[zaza34]

I know it would be easier for you to move on, knowing you left everything o.k, no hard feelings, blames etc... but you tried, she refused you, so there is one thing left, forgive yourself, have peace with yourself, after all that is the most important thing in order to move on... I did the same, I tried to close the whole thing right, he refused, so I moved on... and I felt better after my last attempt, to talk about what we have been trough, but since he wasn t interested... same for you, just try to put everything behind you, if she is not talking to you, I see no reason in talking to another person about your problems...

[Aloneagain10]

Thank you zaza34, I replied to her cousin that im sorry for having contacted her, that from my part I forgive everything that I give her the money that I lend her, and that i desire the best for her and her new relationship. That i understand what she feels. I thought that there was a chance that she missed me too, as she is in a new country and tried to offer her peace of mind that i have no more hard feelings. I think that she is ok.

I'll be ok too sooner or later. I have the same visa as her, and should prepare my travel to montreal too...