Voguester Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 I was wondering for those who have been or are in a long distance relationship... How long do you usually wait before you get a message from your SO? I might be paranoid here but my boyfriend usually messaged me everyday which I thought was sweet and it let me know that he was thinking of me. Now he is becoming very unpredictable and might not message me for days at a time, even if it's in reply to one of my messages. This upsets me a bit because it only takes a second to write to someone to just say hey or to find out whats been happening. It's a bit slack in my opinion if you don't hear anything for a few days, it's hard enough as it is being away from your SO in a LDR and so I think both parties need to put in an effort. What do you think? Link to comment
greywolf Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Unless he's on vacation or is unable to contact you, I think you should hear from him every day. Link to comment
In the Dark Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 IMO if he was indeed interested in yo he would respond within the day. But then there could be the scenario of him being in a place where he has no reception. If the chances of him in being such places are likely then it is understandable. But then I guess he would have let you know so you would not be worried as you seem to be now. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Unless he's on a vacay or has a particularly busy day (hey, we all have them!) then I think you should hear from him once a day. I've been in LDR and non-LDR and I hear from the guy at least once a day. Link to comment
Voguester Posted September 21, 2011 Author Share Posted September 21, 2011 I feel kind of mad and hurt because it was him who suggested that we leave each other more emails and offline messages as he wasn't able to talk on MSN as much. Oh god...I feel like I'm being walked all over and a part of me wants to let him know this right now. This is my first experience with an LDR and so I don't know what is normal or even reasonable. It's my belief that if your bf/gf can go the whole day without saying a word to you then you're obviously not on their mind, right? Link to comment
RitaTrue Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Unless he's on vacation or is unable to contact you, I think you should hear from him every day. Agreed.... Link to comment
ara11 Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 If he is on vacation, he should have told you he was going away. If he is too busy, he should tell you when he finishes work or whatever that he had a full on day etc. Sorry but I don't think he is being completely honest with you. Why don't you not contact him for a few days?? This would either make him try get in touch with you or allow for him to be honest and let you know what he has been up to. GL Link to comment
lalarose Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 Heyy! I am in a long distance relationship and I posted a similar thread to when should i answer him if he doesnt responds. Well me, it really bothered me because he would always answer me or right to me first. The thing is we talk on skype pretty much every 2 days so it`s easier. But, I think this kind of problem with messaging happens a lot and you start worrying.. Me usually, after 1 day, i`m asking myself why he isn`t responding so for you, after many days, i would be worried! I think you should tell him how you feel even though you probably don`t want to make yourself vulnerable in front of him. Because if you don`t tell him, he will never know! Link to comment
Rose30 Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 Every day or every second day is reasonable if you're in a committed relationship unless he is on vacation or busy and he tells you ahead of time. There is no excuse for him to ignore you for days. I've been in two long distance relationships before and we had pretty much daily contact. Right now my current bf (not ldr) is away on a 2 week vacation in the middle east where its difficult to get a hold of internet and he still manages to email me every two days, and I never expected him to or asked him to, because I know he is with his family that he hasn't seen for many years. Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 I was in a LDR last year and this started happening to me. She would also find excuses for not contacting me, and use excuses that normally wouldnt be a problem a few months before. I would get angry and upset, she would change then a few weeks later would go back to basically me having to contact her all the time. I got really frustrated all the time and it drove me crazy. Later found out she was cheating on me Link to comment
shl025 Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 Unless he's on a vacay or has a particularly busy day (hey, we all have them!) then I think you should hear from him once a day. I've been in LDR and non-LDR and I hear from the guy at least once a day. ^ I agree. My boyfriend and I talk every day. We chat every night before we go to bed, and if we are both online in the day, we chat for a short time.. just checking how each other's day is going and what each other's upto, etc. We are both busy with school, but we have a MINUTE or two everyday to send messages to each other. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 We email each other every day and have since the day we met on here. Unless we know the other is asleep or at work, if we don't hear from each other every few hours, we assume something bad has happened. Link to comment
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