Had our First Date

[Jetta]

And well there wasn't a big spark or anything but good conversation. Most of the zoo animals were sleeping so that part wasn't as exciting as it could have been. He mentioned going out again, but I'm not sure if he was serious or just being nice. I gave him a hug goodbye, he just said goodbye. So that was that.

[WindowTo]

I had a chicken salad wrap today and well there wasn't any big pieces of dark meat or anything. Most of the tomatoes were unripe so that part wasn't as exciting as it could have been. The cafeteria lady mentioned giving me some free chips next time, but I wasn't sure if she was serious or just being nice. I gave her a high five goodbye, she just said goodbye. So that was that.

[annony]

I'd take him up on the second date. If he didn't mean what he said he'll find an excuse and then you'll know.

[motley802]

Not to deviate from this thread, but how do you find out that there is huge spark on first date? Especially in online dating setting. Don't you think first date is too early to find that out?

[annony]

Not to deviate from this thread, but how do you find out that there is huge spark on first date? Especially in online dating setting. Don't you think first date is too early to find that out?

yep, I do find one date is too early to find out. I've never had "love at first sight" I always need to talk to someone for a while before I feel attracted.

[thejigsup]

Anytime I've had "sparks" on the first date, the relationship itself never went well. I'm sure you've found that out, too, if you are honest with yourself. Sparks, if they ever fly at all, and they don't have to have a happy relationship, should come further down the line when you really get to know someone. Jetta, you are not in high school anymore. Adult relationships don't usually work like that.

[annony]

Anytime I've had "sparks" on the first date, the relationship itself never went well. I'm sure you've found that out, too, if you are honest with yourself. Sparks, if they ever fly at all, and they don't have to have a happy relationship, should come further down the line when you really get to know someone. Jetta, you are not in high school anymore. Adult relationships don't usually work like that.

I disagree with your last point. All of my relationships as an adult have had sparks, where my teenage ones didn't. It always took getting to know that person first, but in the best relationships they were there.

I'd define "sparks" as having butterflys in anticipation of talking to that special someone, and that fuzzy feeling when you are around them.

[Jetta]

I'll take him up on the 2nd date if he actually makes one, but he just hinted at one which I responded positively to. Well jigsup I have had sparks and the relationship didn't pan out so maybe there is something to what you said. If he gives me another shot I'll give him one, he looks great on paper.

[annony]

I'll take him up on the 2nd date if he actually makes one, but he just hinted at one which I responded positively to. Well jigsup I have had sparks and the relationship didn't pan out so maybe there is something to what you said. If he gives me another shot I'll give him one, he looks great on paper.

What's wrong with suggesting a second date yourself? I know the man is "supposed" to do it, but really, if we left men to do everything, nothing would get done lol! My man is "supposed" to throw his own socks in the laundry, but if it were up to him, they'd stay on the floor.

Plus a lot of men seem to like women that take the initiative once in a while.

You don't have to be too formal about it, just say something like "I was going to go for a walk around the lake tomorrow evening, join me?"

[Jetta]

Well I initiated the hug, that was something. His profile is real, I met the guy for goodness sake. I suppose I can e-mail at least and say I had a nice time. I'm really old fashioned when it comes to dating, but the guys who have pursued me have ended badly so maybe I should go a different route.

[annony]

Well I initiated the hug, that was something. His profile is real, I met the guy for goodness sake. I suppose I can e-mail at least and say I had a nice time. I'm really old fashioned when it comes to dating, but the guys who have pursued me have ended badly so maybe I should go a different route.

I think what versais meant was that on our dating profiles we tend to put down who we want to be, and not necessarily who we are. For example I found in my adventures in online dating that nearly every guy was interested in "hiking, rock climbing, the outdoors" etc. When I got to know them a little better, I found that they were interested in the IDEA of hiking, camping and rock climbing, but they never really get around to doing it, and in some cases, had never actually done it at all.

Also, we never list our negative qualities. How many dates would we get if we said we also had a tendency to be insecure, or that we can be the jealous type?

[Jetta]

Oh I see, haha totally true.

 

Maybe it went better than I think I just don't know.

[motley802]

Well I initiated the hug, that was something.

 

To be frank, hugging between sexes is so common nowadays that I don't think hug can be inferred as "romantic gesture" even on romantic outing like date

[abitbroken]

I would go out with him again if the conversation was good. It is a good sign. I agree, call and tell him you had a good time. (notice I didn't say text) and nothing wrong with suggesting the next date. I think the zoo was a good idea since it is not an environment where there is pressure to make a move, which wouldn't be appropriate at that point probably any way. I think first you see if you can actually talk to eachother and chemistry comes later. At least that's what I think when you have not met someone form "accross a crowded room and your eyes locked" or knew them before.