Loss of love emotion?

[Stillhope]

Hi, I have been having issues with my boyfriend for quite some time now. We just had the worst two weeks of our lives and he was all closed off while I was constantly trying to fix things and it felt like he didn't care at all. Anyways he finally opened up and we talked about things and sorted them out, but something happened that in all my research I cannot understand or relate to...he said that because I have caused him so much stress that he lost the love feeling towards me, but he still really likes me and still wants to be with me. Naturally I cried for a while and then regained my thoughts and now I'm trying to rationalize it all.

 

He likes me, he still wants to be with me, but due to so much stress he has lost the love feeling and he told me that it has happened before, during stress/arguments that took a while to get back, but the feeling of love always came back. But that it has never been this bad before, but he is sure it will come back.

 

This is the first time he's told me of this so the shock has kind of thrown my guard down and I'm really scared =[

Anyone who can relate to this with a similar or identical experience in which the outcome has been ideal would be greatly appreciated =]

[curious987]

I'm sorry if I sound overly blunt here....but what a load of crap!

How many times does he reckon he's basically fallen in and out of love with you? I think he's mistaking the 'lost love' for maybe feeling angry or annoyed? You don't just stop loving someone because you're stressed.

 

If he didn't have the 'love feeling', he wouldn't want to be with you, so its probably not that he doesn't feel any love for you, it could just be that when you guys argue or go through tough times, it puts strain on the relationship, and he confuses this with losing 'love'.

[Stillhope]

Maybe it's a misinterpretation. Do you think the feeling can fluctuate? And you don't feel it strongly when you're under a lot of stress? I've heard that that can be the case but I wasn't particularly sure.

[darkroomgirl]

I've had a similar situation. I was with my boyfriend for about 4 months, then one night I got upset about something, we had a big fight, and after that he told me he didn't feel the same way about me. After of about two week of not seeing each other we finally saw each other again and everything seemed like normal again but obviously that had bothered him in some way that makes no sense because about a month later he broke up with me. I still don't think that was his whole reason and he used it as an excuse so try to look at it that way. Try to see what else could be bothering him besides just the arguments. He might have insecurities about the relationship or something like that and is to scared to admit so pulls away instead.

[Stillhope]

Not really, it's just purely loss of that euphoric feeling I think from what he describes. He said he still loves all those things he loves about me, he just can't feel anything right now probably due to stress, and that apparently it's only happened once before but it was minor, and that this feels much more major. But we have been fighting for the whole week and so I think that he is just incredibly stressed out and that now that it is over all his feelings will return.

 

At least that is what I'm holding onto right now.

[Alezia]

How long have you been together for?

[Stillhope]

Just 1 year

[Stillhope]

I also must add that he still seems to show a lot of concern for my feelings, asks what I'm doing, who I'm talking to etc

[Stillhope]

Blah spamming =[

Another thing I think I should probably note is that I'm the first person he's ever had a reason to care about as well, and I've been very patient in our relationship because everyone makes mistakes and since it is his first real relationship he may not understand that the euphoria tends to come and go, I'm just scared that one of us is going to make some stupid mistake very soon if this isn't rectified.

 

I've been thinking perhaps give him some space for him to miss me and get his romantic feelings back. We still spend all our time together and I'm unsure if this is a positive or negative thing, but I'm also in physical agony over it due to the mental stress of fearing for this amazing person who I foolishly want to be with forever. I think he definitely has the potential to learn and that the relationship doesn't have to be cut just because he's confused, but I guess what happens happens and I cannot control that.

 

Hopefully his feelings come back soon, it's happened to me before and I was awful confused but once I got past it I realized it is not a permanent thing.