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Advice on if I should send this or not please!


jsw

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Hi everyone.

 

Quick background:

 

I dated this girl for a little over 4 months and the past month i feel like she has lost interest. At the very least, I feel like she doesnt treat me as well as I do her and that she just doesnt feel the same anymore. I'm not sure though because I get messages from her that indicate that she does still care but then nothing.

 

So I am wondering if I should send this message to her:

 

"Hey just wanted to see how you are. I've been getting the feeling that you have lost interest. I understand but like i said you can always tell me and I'd rather know. Don't worry about the wedding, I promise that I wont make it awkward and ill mke sure that it is still as much fun like we talked about!"

 

 

her cousin and I are friends and we are each in the wedding party and are partners. that is how we met. So this isnt a normal situation. I am being genuine here and would not make it weird at all.

 

But because of this wedding thing, I don't know if I should say this text to her or if i should simply fade away. I have been a nice guy to her this whole time - even she says so - so I dont want to be a jerk. Also, I dont want to seem like the bad guy here. The ain reason I would send it though is because I am very perplexed.

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Why wouldn't you talk to her on your next date? also it's been four months are you sure its not just you guys coming out of the honeymoon phase?

 

Heres the thing - the last time i asked her if she wanted to hang out she said she would let me know and never did. I have not asked her to hang out since to see her reaction and she has not said anything to me about it. The day after she said she would let me know but didnt she texted me like nothing was wrong.

 

I get mixed signals though because she sends me texts or things that make me feel shes interested still but then the weekend came and I barely heard from her

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Hi

I reckon it would all depend on how well you got on in the beginning ... i.e what was it that she really liked about you in the beginning? If you can hone into whatever it was she liked... then I would give her call.... be very positive (trying to show the qualities that she really liked in the beginning) and you may relight her interest. Maybe she feels you are not that 'in to her' and have given up. From a female perspective (well, mine anyway!) ha ha..... I would be a little turned off by a message like the one you were thinking of sending.... to me it sends the message of an unconfident bloke, who isn't positive, has given up and is essentially putting himself down.

It sounds like you are a nice bloke so don't put yourself down or give up..... make her realise what she is missing! Make her know you are worth having!! So I would instead try a more upbeat approach... ask her out somewhere nice... Hopefully she'll agree... meet up with her and see how it goes.

If you get the impression when she is with you that she is being distant... then bring up the conversation about what is going on and see what she says... and if she's lost interest, at that point you could mention maybe being friends and the wedding.

If I was the girl....I reckon i'd do one of 3 things when you messaged... 1) if the guy was positive and reminded me what i liked about him... i would agree to go out and be open to reconsidering. 2) If i had decided that i really wasn't interested/was maybe interested in someone else more... i'd either say I was busy (normally if i'd only been on 1-3 dates).. 3) if i'd been on more than 3 dates, i'd agree to meet the bloke and let him know the situation either by what i said or by body language or both.

i hope this helps! I wish you luck!! Let us know how it goes!

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Look she's not into you or she's not into you enough and there's some other guy(s) she's chasing. If a girl really likes you she'll make sure to let you know.

 

The main issue is that you don't feel she reciprocates so why would you put up with a girl like that? If she doesn't value you and you feel invalidated then it's not worth your time.

 

As for the wedding let it breath and if you really want to get her attention try to hook up with someone at the wedding.

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She said she waould let you know when she wanted to hang out and was ready. she has not said "okay, let's hang out" so she is not ready. Random texts do not mean anything as far as that goes. The wedding is not a milestone in your relationship nor a deadline for your relationship. If you walk up together, just do your duty. Walk up the aisle together. It does not mean that you have to sit with her, dance with her or talk to her. I walked up in a wedding with someone I just met then and we really didn't say anything to eachother. We weren't expected to dance together or anything either.

 

If you are concerned, request to the groom or bride, whichever one you are in the wedding because and ask if they switch the pairings. As long as you are not best man and maid of honor it should not be a big deal. Or you walk up escorting one of the mothers, etc, if you are are the best man.

 

If you think you are getting mixed signals, stop answering her texts or actually talk to her. she could not know what to do about the wedding either

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