jonny15 Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 How was her reaction normal? There is nothing normal about something getting mad because someone didn't bang their brains out on the first attempt. Link to comment
Lithp Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 I feel for you! It happens, it actually happens to my boyfriend the odd time and it's nothing to be upset about. Actually, the first time we had sex, he warned me 'It's been a while', it was done in under a minute, we were both laughing at the situation but he finished me off and we had a good night regardless. The last thing she should be doing is making you feel bad for any reason after sex, so you should be glad you saw this as soon as you did. Even if she's stated that this is all due to her having sex too soon, she should have communicated that instead of avoiding your attempts at contacting her. I'd be cautious of this one. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 How was her reaction normal? There is nothing normal about something getting mad because someone didn't bang their brains out on the first attempt. Well according to the OP the sex lasted 2 mins, so perhaps she wasnt expecting some great sexual feat but instead something longer than 2 minutes. That is why her reaction is normal. Link to comment
jonny15 Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 Well according to the OP the sex lasted 2 mins, so perhaps she wasnt expecting some great sexual feat but instead something longer than 2 minutes. That is why her reaction is normal. I still don't think it's normal. If you don't like the first showing, ask to stick around for a second one to see if it gets better. Link to comment
Lithp Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 You had an orgasm in like 2 minutes and you are the one in shock and annoyed and angry? Did you ever stop to consider how she felt? When a woman gives herself up to a man she expects to be treated with consideration, respect, and compassion. It sounds to me like all you did was pump away for a few minutes, shoot your load and then since your needs were met, probably were already looking forward to getting something to eat. Did you even try to hold off on having an orgasm or did you just keep right on going even though you knew it was very quick? Did you even say you were sorry for the accidental premature ejaculation or offer to take care of her with some oral? It's not all about you ya know! From what I gathered in his post, it doesn't sound like she gave him any time for that. She saw he had finished quickly, automatically got upset and started acting cold towards him. I get where you're coming from and I agree that it shouldn't be only about either party during sex, but when stuff like that happens there is no reason to get angry - especially if it was only their first time. Sometimes it really just can't be helped and not to say she shouldn't be annoyed, as it is frustrating when you're in the mood and things end abruptly like that but to act coldly towards something that probably wasn't intentional is too much. I also agree with your point that he should have offered to help finish getting her off, but he may not have felt comfortable in the moment with her reaction. That's why I think when he finished prematurely she shouldn't have acted like he was pathetic or something, as he probably wasn't thoroughly impressed with himself either. She would have been better off to go with it and encourage him to go down on her instead of what she ended up doing. When you're having sex in real life, it doesn't happen smoothly all the time - there are going to be weird noises, failed attempts at new positions, and sometimes someone's going to let out a fart or cum too early. How you deal with it speaks volumes. Link to comment
Penseur Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 I'd advise you not to get upset about this experience. Obviously easier said than done, but because she reacted in that way, I suggest you return fire in kind. Treat this as a conquest. You stormed the citadel of her womanhood, the ultimate goal. And a very attractive woman at that. Sexual conquest completed. Move on to the next one. I realize this may be very cold-hearted, but that is her disposition in the situation. If she felt violated or was upset at herself, I don't think she would have gotten cold and asked you to leave. She would have been much more emotional than that. Unless she is sociopathic, in which case you definitely shouldn't feel bad. Link to comment
gvision Posted September 25, 2011 Author Share Posted September 25, 2011 Okay to make some clarifications. I never said 2 mins. I said a few minutes. Prob around 5. And yes I did try my best, pulling out on a few close calls before actually cumming Futhermore I am a giver , its in my nature. I'm no rock star in bed but I'm not bad either and this not lasting thing is not a conssistent issue it just happened, unfortunately on my first time with the girl I was apologetic, actually regret how apologetic I was because I felt i left my manhood for being apologetic for such btichyy behavior For those offered wise words and felt for me, thank you. they helped Link to comment
Staple Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 She sounds like a nutjob lol. Link to comment
gvision Posted September 25, 2011 Author Share Posted September 25, 2011 This isn't about what a bunch of internet strangers think. It's about what SHE thinks. Yes she might have been a bit reactive but if you're looking for solutions then saying "it was closer to 5 minutes not 2 minutes" isn't going to get it done although you might garner a bit more sympathy from well meaning posters. By the way how many "close calls" can you possibly have in under 5 minutes? I'm not looking for a solution. just venting. I don't care about explaining how many minutes it was as you see in my original post i didn't even mention the amount, I only clarified when somehow YOU just came up with the number two out of thin air. From your first post on this thread i feel that you have some anger issues towards men, don't bring your own issues into this and stop making huge assumptions and implying that i just wanted to satisfy my self and get out. Isn't it obvious that if i'm posting here it means sex means something of value to me and this incident affected me? It isn't about what SHE thinks either at this point. Its about me. You're last question is irrelevant. The number of close calls doesn't matter, what matters was i tried and wasn't being selfish about my pleasure. Thanks for whatever you have offered, but if you continue to take this tone id rather you not offer any words. Link to comment
Garrudae Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 It depends what type of pill your taking, and again on how you react to it. Not everyone is the same, but it is very common for people on SSRIs ie- paxil, prozac to lose their sex drive. -K Link to comment
gvision Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 okay to update you, we still kept in touch and went out a few more times before having intercourse again last night This time we had sex for a good 20-25 minutes but the whole time she wasn't being that accommodating with my sexual blunders but not bad. Sex was okay. It was pretty good in the beginning but near the end it kind of got boring because i as so concentrated on showing her that i can last (because of last time) that i probably wasn't in the moment. So after 20 minutes or so, she just stopped in the middle of sex and said "okay stop i have to go to the bathroom" , and she did and came back with a shirt on and just cuddled up next time me, but seemed a little distant. Didn't bother to finish me or anything or even explain what just happened I feel like im not satisfying her sexual needs and I don't get this girl. Its really quite frustrating Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Dude you need to have a talk with this girl or forget about her. She sounds pretty selfish. If you aren't enjoying sex with her then maybe you a aren't combatible with her sexually. It happens. You proved you can last so your ego is healed so rethink just how much you like this girl. Sit down and talk to her in person with your clothes on about all this and see what she says. You will know what to do after that I am sure...... Lost Link to comment
gvision Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 ugh yeah, she is playing soo many games. I sent her a text a few hours ago just saying good morning and how are you sort of thign, and no response.... If she disappears again like last time for a few days, its over. To keep whatever sanity i can with her, i might have to let this go... Link to comment
Silentlyfor Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Dude, I went through the same exact thing a couple of days ago. Trust me, you're better off without somebody like that. Link to comment
gvision Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 how do you do that, just have sex with someone and disappear on them. i haven't heard from her all day. Link to comment
gvision Posted October 7, 2011 Author Share Posted October 7, 2011 This might be the end of the story. I called her two days ago, we talked for 5 minutes. I told her i felt she was being distant. she just said "it was one of those days" I asked her again if she was sure, and she proceeded to remark in a rude way "Get off it!" and ended the conversation promptly with "don't worry about it" I just said "see you around" and hung up. When i hung up i wasn't sure what had happened, but as expected she explained nothing to me. We haven't been on contact since and I feel okay i guess. I miss her a little bit, even if she was a bit I've NEVER let any woman have the upper hand as much as i did with her. Need to get it together. Link to comment
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