Miss my Heart Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 So it's been 6 months since our big fight and over 3 months since the official break up. I still feel horrible. I went 30 days of no contact ands then we talked. A week and a half later he called me. This past weekend I talked to him Friday night, Saturday and Sunday. I miss him and I told him that on Saturday. I said everything you're not suposed to say. I know I did wrong. I feel so weak and pathetic. He said he missed me too. He said he still loved me too. But I know he doesn't want to be with me. He wants to be friends. I want to be friends but I want to be lovers too. I can't be just his friend. I want all of it. I want the kisses and hugs and comfort of having him next to me at night. I am so stupid. I know I deserve better then him. I know I deserve someone who will stick it out when it gets tough. I want my happy ending and it makes me hurt to think I thought he was it and the reality is he'ds not. Now I just want the hurt to go away. I keep repeating to myself to breath...to let go...to forgive myself and to forgive him. But then, when I'm not prepared I feel like an avalanch hits me and my chest is in a vice. This has been the very worst break up in my dating history. Deep down my head knows I'll survive, I've survived the men before him and someday I'll be fine, but right now the heart hurts so much. I think that getting out there and dating would help...nothing serious just trying to meet new men...but the thought of that scares me. Why is heartbreak so hard? Why can't my heart do as my head says? I think it may be time to get professional help. Link to comment
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