endy Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 I think a lot of people (including myself) go into NC for the wrong reasons, but Endy has it exactly right. It's to get yourself back. Ultimately, you cannot control another person's actions or change their beliefs. You can, however, fix your own behavior and outlook on life. Instead of taking care of someone else, you finally have the time to take care of yourself. The thing NC can do in some cases if you are doing it right... IS make you an attractive person again that could possibly attract the ex back. It's all about the law of attraction. Would you want to be with a broken person? Neither would your ex, or anyone else healthy for that matter. Pining, longing, and planning to get someone back is not healthy and does not usually work. You are putting them on a pedestal, where you should be yourself. Always put you first. What does work is getting back YOU and working on YOU. That's the best chance you have... and guess what? To do all of that... you have got to move on and put you first in your life and forget about them. That's just the way it goes. It's weird but you ever realize that most people that post about their ex contacting them again is when they are dating again or have met someone else? It's because they are giving off that positive vibe again, they are back to where they attracted their ex in the first place. Link to comment
Tired Tiger Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Ah... more theories, labels, and catch phrases. Awesome. I've been working on a study of my own. It spans 48 years and favors personal relevance over pop psychology. The only 'theory' I've come up with so far is the Popeye Theory... I yam what I yam. Not only is that not such a bad thing, it's a whole lot less complicated than being a cornucopia of dysfunction and/or divisive labels. Then again, when I was the age of those in this survey, it was generally considered prudent to monitor your blunts. Link to comment
Clumsy Llama Posted September 20, 2011 Author Share Posted September 20, 2011 NC isn't TO get your ex back. It's to get YOU back. After you get you back who cares who you contact? That's the whole damn point of it. You'll be ok to contact your ex, or any ex for that matter. Or you'll be ready as a person for a new relationship. It's about becoming attractive again, independent, and strong on your own two feet.... Think about it... If you remain NC forever and they don't contact you... one of you has to break. The point of it is to break the NC when you're good and damn ready for anything. That's why tons of time is not a bad thing. If it works out it works out. If not you're ready for your next relationship. It's a win win situation for a dumpee. I agree NC is to get yourself back. I'm saying it might not always be the best option for people who want to reconcile. There is obviously no one way to go about a break up and every situation is different. Some people feel that staying in contact actually helps them move on. It really all depends on the individuals. Link to comment
endy Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 I'm not going to respond to that... not starting another NC vs LC vs NIC thread. You will do what you think is best clumsy... Good luck either way. Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Ah... more theories, labels, and catch phrases. Awesome. I've been working on a study of my own. It spans 48 years and favors personal relevance over pop psychology. The only 'theory' I've come up with so far is the Popeye Theory... I yam what I yam. Not only is that not such a bad thing, it's a whole lot less complicated than being a cornucopia of dysfunction and/or divisive labels. Then again, when I was the age of those in this survey, it was generally considered prudent to monitor your blunts. Read that --- have to say I agree. Has a sequel "You aren't going to change a 50 yr. old man!" Link to comment
CMS Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Read that --- have to say I agree. Has a sequel "You aren't going to change a 50 yr. old man!" Or the sequel "You aren't going to change a 50 year old man! but its not to late to start on the 20 somethings" Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 I am a 50 yr. old woman.....I don't have the stamina or patience for a 20 something! So, I will have to leave that off my reading list!!!!!! Link to comment
CMS Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 I am a 50 yr. old woman.....I don't have the stamina or patience for a 20 something! So, I will have to leave that off my reading list!!!!!! Haha your loss, I heard its gonna be huge! Link to comment
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