Can time help a relationship and bring two people back together? Experiences?

[rebellefleur]

My boyfriend and i were together for a year plus some. During the past few months, things have just gotten so bad with fighting and taking eachother for granted. I would start stuff over stupid things because i didn't feel satisfied, he would break up with me over every little fight and then play it off like nothing, etc.

 

Most recently the issue that pushed us to break up was, he had broken up with me twice in one day for what i thought was for good. I was so hurt and fed up. I went out with friends to clear my head, got too drunk, and kissed a guy friend. The next morning he apologized and wanted to try again. I was honest with him about the kiss, i couldn't lie to him and continue things like nothing happened.

 

He completely left me and keeps telling me how hurt he is over the kiss and he doesn't know if he can forgive me. He keeps saying he needs time and we need to give the relationship time but he doesn't know if he'll want this in the end. I'm so devastated. He's making me feel like a terrible person and i just want him back in my life. It's like he wants to believe i cheated and disregards the fact that he left me. I keep trying but nothing is working. I'm so hurt and i've been crying constantly and feeling awful over him leaving, i'm not sure what to do since i've never been in this predicament. I'm just so hurt and hopeless.

 

Does time really help? Should i just back completely off?

[slyestia]

I think what you really need to ask yourself is if you really want to be in this relationship.

I don't mean to judge,but you didn't seem too happy even before the innocent kiss incident.Because yes,that's all it was.Vented frustration and raw emotions mixed with alcohol result in some pretty bad decision making skills.

[LDRohnos]

Actually going out and getting drunk and kissing a random guy isn't innocent. That was a decision you made and a rather poor one in my opinion. Straighten out your relationship with this guy or end it then go get drunk and kiss dudes.

[rebellefleur]

Well i do want to clarify that, he broke up with me twice in one day...so at the time of the kiss i was single, he left me and that was his decision. I mean imagine being left over and over and over like it's nothing.

[LDRohnos]

This is going to seem callous but that is ridiculous. I understand WHY you did it and I'm sure it had 99% to do with making yourself feel better but you need to *really* finish this relationship with this guy before you go off looking for something else. You'll read too many stories on this forum about people moving on and still in a yo-yo relationship with their ex-boyfriend/girlfriend and it ends poorly 100% of the time.

 

Finish your relationship with this person once and for all, give it time, then go out and find someone new.

[Mesemene]

You're never really going to be sure where you stand with this guy - and that's not something anyone needs.

 

Anyone who can dump you multiple times a day/week with ease and know you'll be made up within hours has no real reason to put you or your feelings before much of anything.

 

He completely left me and keeps telling me how hurt he is over the kiss and he doesn't know if he can forgive me. He keeps saying he needs time and we need to give the relationship time but he doesn't know if he'll want this in the end.

 

And even now, he keeps you dangling. Even without "going there" into the inadvisability of the kiss - it sounds like while he can't decide if he really wants you - he doesn't want to lose having the security of you being willing to jump right back to him whenever he wants the security of knowing you're there.

 

Walk away, don't jump back on this crazy rollercoaster ride.