The issue of sex and friendships

[lukeb]

I am not so sure if there is a question in here, or maybe I am just commenting on an issue that I have had to deal with being part of a relatively small isolated gay community in northern Canada, but here it goes.

 

I have kind of given it some thought, and I guess mostly it is a hangup that I have that I am starting to get over I hope. I haven't allowed myself to be close and friendly with a lot of the local guys here because I always felt that somehow the fact I didn't want to sleep with them was always taken personally. For some in the past that was certainly true. I wonder if anyone else here has had to deal with that, or maybe there is something else at play here.

[Elisian]

I want to try to answer your question or help, but I'm afraid I don't know what you're asking here. I'm guessing you're dispirited about not being close with anyone in your gay community, but in the past you've been cautious in your interactions with the local guys you've known?

[lukeb]

No I am close to a number of people, we have regular coffee meets and stuff. I guess it is a little different than making friends in a "regular" way since the thing that brings us together is the fact that we're gay and lesbian, and not necessarily interests. I would definitely say that I am cautious in my interactions outside the organization. One example is a guy that I have known for years and years but meet on dances or campouts or whatever but not really as friends. Lately I've found out he is actually a really decent guy and fun to hang around with. I had always thought that the issue of sex would make things uncomfortable between us since I am not interested.

 

Maybe it is more of a statement and not really a question, sorry