After the thrill has gone

[love kills]

Hi everyone i have a bit of a problem. I have been going out with my girlfriend for over a year and we are both 21 seeing eachother about once a week. I am still a virgin and she lost hers when she was 16. Here is the problem, things were going well until a few months ago when she suddnely stopped making attempts to contact me as much and she started to ignore some of my texts, which she has gone through short spells of doing but never for this long. Us texting eachother every other day has changed to her only getting back to me once or twice a week and ususally only when she wants to meet up. Lately she has decided to get a tatto which i said i didnt want her to do and she has mentioned this guy at work quite a few times but sometimes refers to him as a brother or the group of her collegues as "her family at work". Anyway this guy is designing her a tatto and taking her to get it done or doing it himself which i really dont like. She is also going off next year to study abroad for 2 months and then going inter-railing with one of her girlfiends from work, and isnt bringing me along with her. She has canceled on plans for us to go away for a weekend together just the two of us, instead saying that she needs to work and look after the three dogs while her parents are away although i dont see why her sister couldnt to that for a few days. She has also decided to bail on meeting some of my friends from collage so that i can introduce her to them. But on the other hand she has started to do more things couples do with me like going to the cinema and going to exhibitions and shopping instead of just going out for coffies all the time in the everning.

 

I asked her about what was going on and if everything between us was ok and that if she wasnt interested any more just to tell me so that we could at least save the friendship but she said that she was just stressed out about haveing to work 7 days a week on her summer placement and that everything was fine between us and she still wanted to keep the relationship going.

 

Im not too sure what to make of all of this and what is really going on between us has she just lost interst and is stringing me along or is it just that the honeymoon period has finished? Maby the spark has gone, how do i get it back? How do i reignite the spark that we used to have between us?

[OptomisticGirl]

First off, you can't TELL her not to get a tattoo. She isn't your property. Moving on.

 

Dude, sounds like she's falling for this new guy and making less and less time for her boyfriend.

[Princess123]

Her body she can do what she wants with it.

 

Why would she bring you along? Are you a piece of clothing that she needs to wear?

 

The not making attempts to be in contact, ignoring texts, that sounds very familiar. But her only contacting you once or twice a week and her essentially picking when you two hang out? Well that doesn't sound like a relationship, sounds like she is trying to slowly get her distance from you to the point where its nonexistent.

 

You should have a talk with her. It seems like she is trying to push you away and hoping you get the hint. You can't force a spark to come back and if only one person is willing to stay in the relationship then that won't work.

[msblueeyzz]

It seems to me that she has already moved on from you, but is probably just trying to figure out how to tell you without hurting you. We have all done this before-we think if we slowly take the band-aid off it won't hurt as much as ripping it off all at once. My advice would be for you to move on.

[love kills]

I know i cant tell her not to get one but i told her i really didnt like them, the same way she kept telling me not to get a motor bike so i didnt get one when i got the chance. I dont know if she is falling for this other guy cause they dont see eachother outside of work. I dont expect to be dragged allong but i thoght seen as we wont have seen eachother for over two months i thought she would have asked me.

 

What i dont get is if she wanted out then why hasnt she said so when i gave her the chance quite a few times and she just says that she has been really busy with work and that everything between us is ok. She seems to go through spells of not getting back to my texts for a while and then everything is back to normal a afterwards for a while.

[OptomisticGirl]

Well you made the choice of not getting the bike, she made the choice of getting hte tattoo anyway.

[love kills]

im not forcing her not to get the tattoo, im not overly bothered about it. i was just making the point that she has decided to get one dispite me telling her that i didnt like them, its up to her its her body and she can do what she wants. I just want to know if there is anything that can be done to save this relationship?

[Princess123]

You want to save this but does she? Does she even see that there is a problem? Your best bet is having a talk with her.

[catfeeder]

You love her. She likes you. Whole different level of interest.

 

You may need to pull back a bit.

 

Head high.