What do you do when you can't keep your partner happy without...

[Saures]

Making yourself happy?

 

I don't want to go into details.

 

I'm just confused, I love this guy and I am 100% sure he is the one, but we always prove our love by doing things for each other that upsets either one of us, then we change our mind, so one day one of us will be doing something that'll make one of us happy but the other one sad, then the next day it'll change and the happy one on the day before changes their mind, so they're unhappy and the other person is happy.

 

I don't want to enter another relationship, and he always threatens that he could get into a relationship and be the best boyfriend, not just have odd days.

 

I don't understand what to do.

 

I just know what would be sensible is to end it, but I've just fallen in too deep with this guy and I can't figure out how I'd react knowing he wasn't mine or in my life...

[penelope13]

If a relationship is unhealthy for whatever reason, you should end it no matter how much you love him. Love will not be sufficient to make the relationship magically healthy. You may be able to sustain it for some time, but unhappiness within a relationship can have long term effects on your mental health.

 

Maybe if you tell us what the problem is you may receive suggestions how to overcome those obstacles

[catfeeder]

Love is not enough. Altering your private values or forcing yourself to behave in ways that run against your best judgment or against your own wants and needs is not 'love,' it's insecurity.

 

Someone who threatens to go off and become a good BF to someone else is one I'd walk away from--fast. That's not 'love,' either. It's control over someone who's insecure, and it's cruel--and wrong.

[msblueeyzz]

Sometimes the hardest decisions are also the best for us. It seems difficult for you now to think of your life without him, but if both of you or even just one of you is doing things for one another that make you sad then you should not be doing it. There is always compromise in every relationship, but the compromise can only go so far. If it is to compromise on watching a different televisions show, not doing something that would make you sad. There are boundaries that are crossed at that point.

I hope you find the happiness you deserve.