Learnt so much about relationships but still....

[LN1987]

Do you ever feel like you have learnt so much in regards to your behaviour during you last relationship?

 

I have really though a lot (too much perhaps) about some of my actions/reactions to things, perhaps I was too clingy when I was down about things, I may have placed too much of my emotions onto my ex, wasn't clear about some things, or tried to talk about our problems too much, etc.

 

I feel like I have learnt a lot, and would approach a new relationship with a very different attitude. However my biggest issue is... I would love a chance to show him but he in no way would let me as he has such a negative opinion of me...

 

It is very frustrating as at the core we really got along, had great chemistry, were best friends etc! Anyone else feel like even though they have learnt a lot they still are upset because they cant show their ex?

[Sanity]

I feel that I learnt a lot from the last relationship, and even more post-BU.

 

I learnt that I had make many mistakes in the past that I shouldn't have taken many things for granted. Worried too much about the future and as such, resulted in many problems.

 

In a way, I do feel upset as she will not have a chance to see the new me again. Post BU, she said she is glad I changed for the better and wished she was my next girlfriend. Its saddening to hear that. For all the hurt I have given, I don't mind taking all these pain as long as she is genuinely happy. I will just work on myself and become better, proving with action rather than words.

[Imprimatur]

I feel that I learnt a lot from the last relationship, and even more post-BU.

 

I learnt that I had make many mistakes in the past that I shouldn't have taken many things for granted. Worried too much about the future and as such, resulted in many problems.

 

In a way, I do feel upset as she will not have a chance to see the new me again. Post BU, she said she is glad I changed for the better and wished she was my next girlfriend. Its saddening to hear that. For all the hurt I have given, I don't mind taking all these pain as long as she is genuinely happy. I will just work on myself and become better, proving with action rather than words.

 

Yes, we do have very similar situations. I would give anything to bring the new me to the table, but don't think she will entertain that idea. When she says comments simialr to what you heard, or "I hope you find your happinesss" it belittles me and makes me feel worthless (in my own mind of course) I am sure she means it, just not with her.

 

I have learned a ton like you guys, probably read too much? What an eye opener.

Its good on one hand, but I think part of the reason I am doing it is because subconsciously I want to show her how I have changed. What a pipe dream!

[mhowe]

The learning and the changing is all wonderful --- because it opens you up to new and better opportunities in your future. Instead of regretting that the ex may never witness these changes, think instead that without the catalyst of the bu, you would not have had the chance to grow and learn. So, something positive comes out of something negative!

 

In addition, without the ex....treating you well or badly, the transformation (hopefully for yourself) would not have occurred. You now you are ready for a future with someone who can appreciate you and doesn't know about all the baggage....