rockerstar Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 Hi all....so in about 6 weeks time I'll be heading away for a mini-holiday over the long weekend with my boyfriend. By then we'll have been together for 6 months. I feel like I might be ready to take it to the next step then...but then I'm wondering what will happen afterwards....he lives at a place with three other guys and I don't particularly want to make love whilst they can be in the next room hearing us. So advice? What to do? Should I maybe not take that next step because of that? I unfortunately (or fortunately depending the way you look at it) still live with my parents, so it can't be at mine either. I know this probably sounds like a silly question but... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 I share a suite with 3 other girls. I don't have any qualms with the idea of bringing over a guy to have sex with me. I have a private room. Trust me, it's better than doing it at your parent's house. "Plug" the bottom of the door with clothes and don't be TOO loud. Prevent them from hearing you. If they DO hear you, it probably won't be that noticible (as long as you're careful) and I'm sure they will understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 How much longer does he plan on having this living arrangement? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RelaxByWater84 Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 Does his bed border a shared wall?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovelace Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 It depends on what kind of guys his roommates are, but odds are that it will be just fine. Just don't be loud, and don't bang the bed against the wall. If they're college-aged or older, they're totally used to this, and I wouldn't worry about it at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockerstar Posted September 18, 2011 Author Share Posted September 18, 2011 How much longer does he plan on having this living arrangement? I have no idea how much longer....I have a feeling the only time he would be enticed to leave is if he was moving in with someone. His bed border doesn't share a wall...but they're all up on the same level. I just mentioned to my parents today the possibility of sleeping over his place.....and they were just like "what about the other guys? You shouldn't give him to much." But mainly the "look". Bwah. Half the time I have no idea what I'm doing or want. I feel I might be crowded by what my parents call "protecting me". And I do wonder about all of that in the back of mind....though I'm at that point where I think I love him...I'm starting to see a future for us together....its scary...but exciting.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MakeItCount Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 My roommates went to the pub for a few hours when my ex and I first had sex. I told them the deal and they were happy to go away for the night. Try that? From there on though, just go at 'er. We always have a laugh in the morning when the gf's go home/school/work about how loud they were. I wouldn't worry about it. My roommates once heard a girl over loud music at 4am..no sweat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 Unless you're in your OWN house with (probably) a husband, you may as well get used to the idea that people may very well hear you during sex. Or you may hear others. Roommates? They may hear you. Apartment? Your neighbors may hear you. Dormitory? Even with a single room? Your neighbors may hear you. It's just a fact of life that when you live close to other human beings, you're going to hear stuff. And they may hear you. All you can do is just not be obnoxiously loud. Anyone who is old enough to live on their own should be mature enough to handle things like this (such as hearing you on accident) and not make a big deal out of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Dark Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 Depends on the roommates. When I was living with flat mates, they left the house when my gf at the time and I were at it. We really didn't give them much notice and didn't really care anyway but every time, they would either be out or in the back yard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 I wouldn't feel comfortable (and haven't in that situation). If things get more serious would you consider moving out on your own? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somegirl30 Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 I've dated guys who have had roommates before and we did have sex at their place. As long as they had a private room it didn't bother me. I figure their roommates aren't surprised and it's just what couples do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betweenthebars Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 Unless you're in your OWN house with (probably) a husband, you may as well get used to the idea that people may very well hear you during sex. Or you may hear others. Roommates? They may hear you. Apartment? Your neighbors may hear you. Dormitory? Even with a single room? Your neighbors may hear you. It's just a fact of life that when you live close to other human beings, you're going to hear stuff. And they may hear you. All you can do is just not be obnoxiously loud. Anyone who is old enough to live on their own should be mature enough to handle things like this (such as hearing you on accident) and not make a big deal out of it. This. It happens. Hell, even all alone in a house sometimes neighbors can hear (I hate houses 5ft away from each other lol). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 Yep. I'm in a suite and I'm resigned to the fact that I'll be living in apartments for several more years. Probably won't get a house til I'm 30 or so. I can hear people up and down of me having sex and they are on different floors. It happens. What can you do? *turns up TV* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockerstar Posted September 21, 2011 Author Share Posted September 21, 2011 I wouldn't feel comfortable (and haven't in that situation). If things get more serious would you consider moving out on your own? Indeed, this is a very serious question as just the other night I found out inadvertently that he would date someone, live with them for awhile before even considering marriage. Its interesting...I used to think the same...I mean marriage is just a piece of paper in the end? But then putting it into practice is another thing.... In the end I think, yes I would. If the commitment were there, yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockerstar Posted September 21, 2011 Author Share Posted September 21, 2011 Yep. I'm in a suite and I'm resigned to the fact that I'll be living in apartments for several more years. Probably won't get a house til I'm 30 or so. I can hear people up and down of me having sex and they are on different floors. It happens. What can you do? *turns up TV* This is going to sound completely old fashioned...but what about honour? Being able to hold your head up high and not have to do that "walk of shame" as the guys see you come out of his room? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imsuperman Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 I think it's only funny if it's obnoxiously loud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 This is going to sound completely old fashioned...but what about honour? Being able to hold your head up high and not have to do that "walk of shame" as the guys see you come out of his room? Hold your head up high anyway. You like each other and are getting laid. It's what people do. Nothing to be ashamed of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MakeItCount Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 I think it's only funny if it's obnoxiously loud. This can get pretty damn funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockerstar Posted September 29, 2011 Author Share Posted September 29, 2011 Hold your head up high anyway. You like each other and are getting laid. It's what people do. Nothing to be ashamed of. I like the way you said that...it just smacks of confidence. But then actually doing it....is sometimes another matter.... :S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MakeItCount Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 I like the way you said that...it just smacks of confidence. But then actually doing it....is sometimes another matter.... :S It's really common though. And it totally does reek confidence. Unless you're SUPER uncomfortable, then I'd say go at 'er. If you're not happy with your own reaction to it afterwards, then consider alternatives. Honestly, at our age (I'm in the same age range as you, as are my roommates) it happens a lot and we just view the girl in a lighthearted matter and even joke about "last night" when we see her in the morning. No worries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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