CF-35 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 As stated in the title I have very little interest in having intercourse with my gf and i'm trying to figure out why. I don't think it's a sex drive issue because I still have urges to "self-pleasure" and my GF actually gives me oral sex regularly and I enjoy it but I don't see the interest in going further than the oral and I know it bothers her which in turn bothers me. Sometimes I'll get an urge and we'll have great sex but it doesn't really happen that often. Another thing is the thought of intercourse with a stranger or one of my gf's friends turns me on like crazy. It's almost like when the thrill of the chase isn't present I'm not as interested, which sucks because I really do love her. What could be the issue? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imsuperman Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Maybe things are getting too routine. How long have you been together? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedDress Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 An emotional intimacy thing? The other things that you have described that you want (oral, videos, sex with strangers) aren't things that require a level of emotional involvement. You also don't talk about pleasuring her at all. Don't you want to be connected to her? Don't you want to see your girlfriend happy? Not just because that makes you "the man" - but because she is a wonderful person who just deserves pleasure. As a relationship progresses, the sex usually becomes less about sex and more about a connection (and sex - hehe). Are you avoiding that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FathomFear Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 How old are you? What you describe seems somewhat common on these boards in younger people. They like their partners but don't like the "routine" and are more turned on by the thought of pursuing others, which makes them feel guilty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timlondon Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 Could be that when you're in a relationship you basically have sex right on tap when you want it, so just like you say there's no "chase". No idea how you go about making your girlfriend less available though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deciduous Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 Hi CF-35, I had just a few questions. 1) How long have you been together? Is this merely a dip in an LTR? 2) Are you living together? This can take the shine off any love life for periods at a time. 3) Is this a new occurrence and you fancied the pants off her when you met, it's just faded in recent months 4) Were you never that strongly attracted to your girlfriend in the first place. Now the novelty has worn off, the lack of attraction is showing? By your post, I have a strong hunch it is the forth one. The heat wasn't there to begin with. Clearly you have heat with other women, just not your beloved. Deci Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CF-35 Posted September 20, 2011 Author Share Posted September 20, 2011 Hey, thanks for the responses... As far as how long we've been together it's been no more than 3 months. It's nothing on her end to be completely honest, she's extremely attractive and does everything a guy could ask for in the bedroom. I know the problem is me but I just don't know how to solve it. It happened before in other relationships. It's like I only want what I can't have. We are both 21 by the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chougirl Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 OMG ! I have the same issue with my boyfriend.He is 32 and I am 25. We have been together for more than 2 years now. We had a long distance relationship but saw each other 3 or 4 times a year for 2 weeks to 1 month at a time. We had great sex at first but it wasn`t that often.Even when we did, there was no connection or intimacy sometimes. He told me he had had intimacy problems in most of his relationships and I wasnt the first with who sex was a problem. We`ve been living together now for 4 months (it`s temporary) and I dont think we`ve had sex more than 5 times. We talk a lot and he had a really hard childhood; he was neglected by his mother and familly , his dad left at 3 years old. HOWEVER , he gets turned on by strangers. He wants to fix it, but we don`t know what to do............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess123 Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 Maybe see how your testosterone levels are? Some men need a boost because after 30 it starts dropping! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chougirl Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 We both work out on a regular basis. He is a work out freak and exercise everyday . But you are right, i read about this testosterone problem. I`ll talk to him about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CF-35 Posted October 12, 2011 Author Share Posted October 12, 2011 i had my levels checked and they were low... then when I tested again they were normal. Also i'm 22 so that doesn't seem to be the problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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