littledreamer Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Hello! I've been going NC with my ex for two days. After our breakup I told him I accepted being just friends, but sooner or later I realized it only hurt me as I wanted to be more than friends. We knew each other for about three years but dated for a little more than 2, during which time we lived together for about a year. We had an amicable enough breakup and both still think each other is a good person. When we talk on the phone we're both always laughing. Our reasons for breaking up were a bit complicated- I was going through some rough times with family and school that made me become clingy and he was going through money issues that made him irritable. We started to lose sight of us and just weren't in a happy in our lives, so we needed to work on each other alone for a while. I know for a fact there was no other woman and that he has not dated since. He told me he went on casual dates, and I know what that means. Men have certain needs, as do I. So I do not fault him for this. Anyway, since the breakup we've been in almost regular, friendly contact. I recognize I do not want this. I have put my foot down and I do not want to speak to him unless a reconciliation is in the cards. I deserve more than that, not crumbs of a relationship that has ended. I do still love him and realize if we were to reconcile, our relationship would have to be thought of as completely new. After the two days of no contact (unusual since we usually speak at least for a short while daily), I get this e-mail: "Wow, two days and not a single peep?! I'm proud of you! Who knows what you're doing now? By the way, that was a really beautiful poem you wrote on your blog." I answered him to the effect of, "Thanks. Just a quick e-mail to let you know that I agree with our split and it was a long time coming. I am totally okay with it. I am sorry after the breakup I didn't respect your boundaries and we kept in contact. On a different note, I got some great news the other day and would love to fill you in... maybe in the future. But for now we need to be apart from each other for a while. Take care!" I want him to know that I a) need to be apart from him to fully heal and b) he needs to miss me. How can he miss me if I am always there for him? I am giving him everything I would give a boyfriend in terms of being there emotionally. If he's not with me now or not trying to reconcile, to but it bluntly, he doesn't deserve it. Even though he's an awesome guy and I still have a huge spot in my heart for him. So how do I continue now? Still NC? I've told myself even if and when he responds, I will not respond until I am ready. This might take months, but I'm prepared. What do you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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