I've been dating my ex's good friend secretly. Who should tell whom?

[dan138zig]

Hello guys,

 

I've been dating this girl for about 2 months. We get along really great but these past few days she's been acting distant. When I asked her what's the matter, she said that her guilt is starting to haunt her more and more. You see, she is my ex's (who I dumped 4 months ago after 2 years of relationship) good friend so that's the reason of the guilt. We actually have talked about this since the beginning of our relationship so we decided to take things slowly until the time is right to bring up the news to my ex. But now it seems that we don't have any choice except to tell her ASAP. Our relationship got awkward after she admitted this and our communication has been reduced greatly.

 

Now what is the best way to bring this up to her? Should we all sit together and talk about it? Should I let my girl talk about this to my ex? But I feel I have some explaining to do, too. Or should it be me that bring up the news? I'd just ask her what would she feel if I dated her good friend and I'll just take it from there. This way, my girl is out of the picture and their friendship won't be affected. FYI, me and my ex don't hold any grudge but we don't really talk anymore either.

 

OK, some of you might say, what am I doing dating my ex's good friend in the first place. I admit this a touchy subject but trust me I think she's worth it so just leave it at that, OK? If it turns out that my ex is not happy with the fact that me and her friend are dating, then I'll end it.

 

Thank you for your advice

[Mesemene]

FYI, me and my ex don't hold any grudge but we don't really talk anymore either.

 

It sounds like the real danger is if the ex's friend and the ex can maintain their friendship, since you and your ex don't really have a relationship anymore.

 

It's a touchy area with girl friends. While technically, there's nothing wrong with it - it can still be seen and felt as betrayal. Sounds like the two girls need to have a sit down and decide just what the boundaries need to be to preserve their friendship - and it sounds like you're willing to abide by their decision.

[RedDress]

I agree. You are single, you can date whomever you like. Your girl, however, has an ongoing friendship with your ex that she would like to preserve. It's between the girls. They need to sit down and have a heart to heart. You should stay out of it.

[Oneironaut]

I agree. You are single, you can date whomever you like. Your girl, however, has an ongoing friendship with your ex that she would like to preserve. It's between the girls. They need to sit down and have a heart to heart. You should stay out of it.

 

Agreed. She needs to handle it, not you.