Lavaeolus Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 So I've been seeing my boyfriend for about 2 and a half months now, we were friends for 5 or 6 months beforehand, regularly spoke and hung out. He always knew I had a thing for him but he never seemed interested in that way until 11 weeks ago when he asked me out (although I'm told that there was a certain spark between us a good bit before then by my other gay friends). Things were fine for the first 7 weeks or so, we talked a lot, met up when we both were off work, hung out with our friends etc, then I had him over at my house for a night and we shared my bed. Nothing happened because I'd told him that I was happy with him setting the pace of things (he was 19 then and I'm 24, he never has had any issue with the small age gap) so we just cuddled and fell asleep. He was much more comfortable and affectionate the next day before he left to go home and overall I thought things were going very well. Then he vanished for about 6 days with no explanation and no contact, ignoring texts and calls. When I finally got speaking to him again he just claimed he got like that sometimes and I let it go, I know he's had periods of mild depression before. The problem I have is that this behaviour continued for another 2 weeks, he would give me his work hours then ignore requests to spend time together, we were off for 2 days recently (first time in a long time to spend tiome together) and he ignored me again, then claimed he did "nothing" when he was off. When I finally asked him about it he apologised for his avoidant behaviour but wouldn't explain why he'd been behaving like that and insisted everything with him was ok. I gave him several chances to say if he wanted to end things but he insisted that we were good and I hadn't done anything to annoy him. His avoidant behaviour is still going on though, this last week he's been difficult to contact and he's going back to his further education college this week (I'm heading back to uni in 2 weeks) so he's busy all week with that and work. I'm feeling rotten, he's always been pretty quiet and introverted and just as geeky as me but the way he suddenly went completely dark for so long and for no apparant reason yet still wants to go out with me worries me. Are my worries misplaced or am I right to be concerned and what should I do? When I ask him about how things are he gets quite serious and just blanks me with a simple "everythings fine", when I try to talk about more personal things he clams up and looks almost angry, he's not overly affectionate in private but especially not in public so I asked him if he minded about people knowing about us and he was conused that I thought that he would mind and yet he's been even less affectionate since. Link to comment
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